A Fragile Bond
by iamanawesomeperson
Summary: Four and Tris are inseparable, at least this is what Tris thinks, but then someone, A GIRL, threatens to pull them away, will she succeed? Why has Zeke suddenly become protective? Is Tris' mom telling her the truth about 'everything? Through this, can Four and Tris still pull through? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**i do not own Divergent.**

"What do you want?" I sneer. He just stands there giving a floppy smile, a wicked grin, like he's enjoying the fact that I'm cornered to a wall in a hallway where no one can hear my screams. _If_ I will scream. _No_. I will not give him that satisfaction. "Oh c'mon _stiff_, I'm just here to congratulate you for coming _first_." he says. _Yeah right_. "I don't need your congratulatory, Peter". I stand straighter, I am _not_ afraid, I will _not _give in. "think you're tougher now, huh?" he chuckles – an evil laugh. "you may have came _first_, but I'm still stronger, and you _know_ it". With that he leaves me.

I walk back to the transfers' dorm, where I know a very curious Christina will greet me with a million and one questions about Tobias and I. this would be obvious, after our little show a while ago in the Pit. I could still feel his lips on mine, a tingling feeling.

As expected she does what I predicted.

"calm down" I say to her as I grab her at arm's length. "listen, I would love to answer all your questions I really would, but I don't see that happening unless you stop talking 35 miles per hour". She chuckles and starts to talk like a human – _Finally. _"since when?" she asks. "2-3 days ago? Weeks probably… I'm not sure". "did anyone else know?" "no" we preferred it that way. "have you two…" she ponders for a moment finding the right words "… done _it_?" HELL NO. "CHRISTINA!" I punch her arm softly, and she pouts. "jeesh, I'm just curious. So… did you?" "no!" I can feel my face turning red, my theory is proven because she starts laughing. "oh c'mon Tris, Four is a really hot dude, and well… you can't just date him and not do _that_" she says in between laughs. What I want to say is; _Oh no, you see Chris, I have this fear of intimacy so even if I did want to I couldn't, so yeah._ But that will end up with more laughing and teasing, so I decided to just shake my head at she finally calms down and gets to her senses she invites me to join her to Uriah's party. There really isn't much to do so I guess… "yeah, sure".

15 cosmetic products and 2 back-aching hours later, she finally finishes off my face with god knows how many layers of make-up and does my hair with around 8 gallons of hair spray. "ta-da!" she chirps once done, and hands me a mirror. I'm still not used to having such easy access to my reflection without turning around to see if someone is there to scold me, but I've gotten used to it enough to not fidget every time I see myself. I know that I'm not _pretty_, but still there is something that has changed within me in the past few weeks after coming to dauntless, after initiation, after everything. "thanks" I tell her as I set down the mirror. "now come on! We have to hurry" she pulls me off my seat and drags me out the dorm.

We arrive at Uriah's apartment early, _very_ early. How can I tell? Well because absolutely NO ONE is here, well, that is, except for Uriah of course. "welcome early birds" he says as he runs up to give us both a bear hug, first Christina, and then me. "ca-a-n't breeea-the" his embrace is so tight my trachea feels like it's about to snap into two, heck, scratch that I feel like _I'm_ about to snap into two. He lets go and chuckles.

Soon, the living room starts to fill in with people, some I know by face, others not so much. Then the music starts and I am now surrounded by dancing people I don't know. I would receive occasional "congratulations" for coming first or a clap at the back, but aside from that no one would talk to me. Christina is busy talking to Will, well there's more of lip-action rather than words. I search the room for _him,_ but he's nowhere to be found. What was I thinking? Why would he come here? He's not exactly the kind of person who likes parties.

Uriah then walks over.

"hey" he says casually, he plops down the couch beside me. "hi" I smile back at him. "why so lonely here?" he asks, concern etching every corner of his face. "well, I don't really know a lot of people here". I say looking down at my shoes immediately embarrassed he must think I'm a loner now. "that's not a good-enough reason to sit-out a party this good, especially when someone as awesome like _me_ planned it!" he beams at me and grabs my hand to pull me off the couch. "come on! I'll introduce you to everyone I know".

After what seems like being introduced to the whole dauntless compound, I'm exhausted. Looks like everyone is the exact opposite of me though, although there are a few people throwing up by the sinks or have passed out on the floor from too much drinking. I decided not to drink though, it's not something that appeals to me very much. So after leaving Uriah to entertain his other guests, I go back into the kitchen and grab orange juice, yes I am a goody-two-shoes girl who would drink orange juice in a party.

Then _he_ walks in

He's with Zeke, Uriah's brother, and other people I do not know of. He scans the room and when he sees me he lights up, a huge smile playing across his face. He whispers something to Zeke and then walks over to me. My heart rate is so fast I am afraid that it might beat its way out of my chest all the way to the other side of town. It grows faster and faster every time he takes a step towards me. "you look amazing" he whispers, dark blue eyes piercing into my soul. Out-of-habit I stare down and play with my feet, "thanks" I say to the floor. He laughs a light-hearted laugh that would melt me inside out if he weren't standing there right in front of me. He then reaches out his hand and says "want to dance?" haha. No. I am a terrible dancer. I might step on your shoe. Omg, I do not want to give anyone a foot sprain. "no, I mean yes. No, I mean, uhm I am a terrible dancer and I don't think your shoe deserves to face the wrath of my feet" I tell him sheepishly. Tobias smirks at me, "so am I" he says quietly "but I'm sure it would be tons of fun anyway, besides I think my shoes can handle whatever your feet plans on doing to them" and with that he brings me to the dance floor.

He must've been lying when he said he was a terrible dancer because his dancing skills are terrific as if he was a naturally born dancer. I, on the other hand, have probably hit half of the people on the dance floor and stepped on every foot my feet would come across. I would get occasional cusses and grunts from them but other than that they did not seem to mind being stepped on by me.

"you're not as terrible as you say you are" I shout to Tobias through the music. "either are you" he smiles back. He was never this loose during initiation.

The party winds down and everyone starts going home, Christina is nowhere to be found and either is Will. I think I have a very good idea where they might be and what they are doing. The boys get their Apartments first – which I know is unfair – but for the meantime the girls stay at the dorms they were assigned to during initiation. Tobias and I say our goodbye to Uriah and head on out.

"would you like me to bring you back to your dorm? Or…" he stays quiet still clutching my hand as we make our way through the hallways. "uhm would you like to stay with me for tonight?". I would like to scream out YES. But I my mouth couldn't muster any words. So I just nod. He sees this and smiles back at me. God, that smile, if only I could bottle it up and save it for the times I'm sad and lonely then use it as my remedy.

We finally reach his door, and all the exhaustion of the day weighs in on me. We then abruptly stop infront of it as he takes out his keys and works on the lock on the door. He couldn't seem to open it, he tries again but it won't budge. He grunts under frustration "here let me" I offer as I bring my hand to the key, but he doesn't remove his hand fast enough, so my hand ends up being on top of his. The contact of skin brings electricity through me, down my spine to the tips of my toes.

We stay there, my hand on top of his our bodies so close, looking into each other's eyes.

Next thing I know his lips meets mine and our bodies mesh together. It's soft and passionate at first until it becomes heated and desperate. I'm now pushed up against the door of his apartment, his hands on my waist creeping up my shirt, my hands playing with his hair bringing him closer to me. He fumbles with the key once more and starts with the lock and after a few tries I hear the click and we come barging in, tumbling at the sudden entrance. He closes the door with his foot as we make our way in, his hands still on my waist, mine still around his neck our lips still mashed together. I bring my legs around his waist and pull him closer to me, I can't seem to get enough. He sets me down on the bed and straddles me his legs on both sides pinning me down. His lips then let go of mine and traces my jaw line going down to my neck stopping to kiss each of my raven tattoos and then making his way up back to my lips. His hand creeps up behind my back bringing my shirt with it, soon my shirt is off. This is getting too far, and I know it. I have to stop. But I can't. but I _have_ to. I can't lead him too far and just stop when it gets too close to the edge.

I painfully and unwillingly pull away.

"I'm sorry" I whisper to him snuggling my head to his neck smelling his musky scent. "you have_ nothing_ to be sorry for" he says, voice muffled has he buries his nose to my hair. We lay there, my head resting upon his shoulder my hand making lazy patterns in his bare chest, his arms around me enveloping me into a warm and safe embrace.

I start to drift, but there's one question in my mind that I'd like answered before I fully drift away.

"Tobias?" I ask quietly, too afraid that if I speak too loud, I'd awake and find that this is all a dream. "hmm?" he whispers back. "have you ever…" how do I say this? "have you ever had sex before?" just doesn't seem right. "have you ever had a girlfriend or uhm you know girl company?" _girl company?_ what are you saying Tris? There is no such thing as girl company. he remains silent, his eyes looking into the other side of the room not quite meeting mine. After what felt like forever, he replies "yes". I'm startled because one, I was about to sleep and two, I didn't expect the answer to be so. He then looks me in the eyes, there's something I see in them… pain? Why would he be pained? "what happened?" I ask, too curious for my own good. I am met with more silence. "she died" he says as he buries his face into my hair. I know that gesture all too well, it means he doesn't want to continue this conversation. So I leave it at that, even though I want to ask again _what happened._ But I know better.

He seems to have read my mind because he answers my unasked question. "she was a leader-in-training, last I saw her was a year ago before she left for her training, until, later on I heard just a few months ago that she had died. They… they didn't specify why" a leader-in training? So is this why Eric got his position because this _girl_ died on the job. I shouldn't ask but the curiosity gets the better of me. "did you love her" I say so quietly if he weren't listening he wouldn't have heard it. For a moment I thought he has fallen asleep because, again, he doesn't answer me but I was mistaken. "yes" he replies holding me closer to him.

I decided for good not to bring it up any longer, and I didn't. I snuggled closer to him and as I was about to fall into sub consciousness, "I won't ever leave" I say against his chest. I'm about to drift into deep slumber then he says "neither will I".

**i would love to hear all your opinions, so please do review and tell me all about it! constructive criticism is greatly welcomed!**

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**i do not own anything, aside from my dog and my beloved closet.**

The next morning would be like any other morning I'd wake up in Tobias' apartment; I'd quietly get up, kiss him on the forehead and stealthily make my way out the door.

It's still early in the morning so most of the people inside the compound are still asleep although there are occasional joggers, who like to go for morning walks. I ever so quietly make my way inside the dorm. There are less people now, most of the guys have moved into their new apartments, only a few girls remained. As I tip-toe my way over to my bunk, I pass by a sleeping Christina, but she's not exactly alone, she's with Will. I smirk to myself and make myself a mental note to tell her to inform me all about their _night_ together.

I absolutely love the feeling of warm water, the way it pours on my head and slithers down my back, down to my feet. It's calming, it helps me think. Most people would go take walks like Christina to clear their minds or they would go to the training room like Tobias, but I like to stay in the shower and focus on the constant rhythm of the water on my skin.

I think about last night

About what Tobias said about that _girl_, how she's dead, how she was a 'leader-in-training', how he _loved_ her. Does he _still_ love her? I ache and long to ask, but I know it would only bring discomfort and I wouldn't want that. So I fold the thought and store it away into the deepest corners of my mind, so deep that I might forget about it overtime which I hope happens soon.

It's dawn by now, and I decided to go to the Pit even though most shops are closed. There's an eerie feeling to the place seeing it so quiet when I'm used to it so noisy and full of life, but it feels sad and lonely when there are no people around. Some might think I'm sleep walking because I'm just going around tables through the aisle around another table back, down the aisle and around another table again. I'm tracing patterns around the Pit with my feet, I must be crazy, or sleepy, or _bored_ either way.

When I get back to the dorm everyone is still asleep, most would probably be hung over from last night, so I decided to lie down myself and just wait until everyone awakes, but I soon find myself sleeping instead of waiting.

I must have not drifted too far away because I am awaken by shuffling, the movement of bed sheets and then the lightest steps of feet, I open my eyes just enough to see what is going on, it's Will he must be sneaking out, like the way I did in Tobias' room, except he's not as quiet as I was. "Will?" I whisper quietly. He stops abruptly at his tracks and turns around to face me. He has bloodshot eyes and his hair is tousled, he obviously has a hangover. "what are you doing here?" I ask innocently, even though I already know the answer to this question. "I cay to geh soming" he says, his voice mixed with yawn and sluggish from sleep. This is a very lame excuse even a 6 year old could determine it as a lie, but seeing how tired his eyes looked I knew he just wanted to get out and go back to sleep, so I simply nod and bring my head back down to my pillow.

After a few short minutes others started waking up, most would run straight to the bathroom and gag, others would gag right beside the bed. Thankfully, no one gags beside me, but the smell overwhelms the room which makes _me_ want to gag as well. Christina is the last to wake up, everyone else has either left or is getting ready to leave for breakfast. She gets up with a groan, first she takes an effort to sit upright and then falls right back down the bed.

She obviously doesn't want to wake up, but she has to. It's almost lunch actually, and most people are just going to refer to it as _brunch_ now because they weren't able to wake up in time for breakfast. If Christina misses lunch she'd go hungry the whole day, even though she can get some snacks I know she'd protest because this was part of her so-called 'diet'.

So I throw a bucket of cold, _very_ cold water on her.

"_shit!_" she shouts as she springs out of bed. I laugh at her, sitting down on the floor my hand hitting the ground from laughing so hard, my stomach started hurting. She narrows her eyes and glares at me. The thick mascara she put on has now made tear marks down her cheeks from the water and her hair is all wet, so are her clothes that stick to her body very tight making her look like she awoke from the dead.

I laughed even harder, this time rolling on the floor. I don't care how dirty it is, I just can't stop myself.

she joins in the laughter afterwards, when we both calm down, I put away the bucket and help clean up the place since it looked like a mess and then I helped have her cleaned up since _she_ looked like a mess.

As we started walking towards the Pit for lunch I ask her what I've been longing to ask her, "so… wanna tell me what happened last night?" I ask nonchalantly. She seems to not get the point, so I continue on "and why Will sneaked out the dorm this morning _not_ wearing a shirt" I can now feel her tense beside me and I know that she knows what I mean, but I still continue on. "and why he had lipstick stains all over his face, oh wait… not just his face…" I raise my eyebrows suggestively. She shoves me playfully. "shut up Tris". "oooooh, did a candor just ask me to shut up? So scandalous" I say mockingly.

She just glares at me. I put both my hands up in defense "I'm a girl, Chris, I need some details" while batting my eyelashes at her. "I never knew you could be a girl" "I am a girl!" I defensively snap back, doesn't mean I don't go shopping and flirt around every cute guy I see that I am not a girl. Christina then just laughs at my sudden defense. "I'll tell you later, okay?" she says in between laughs. "fine" I grumble like a child who didn't get what she wanted.

Once we enter the Pit I am again greeted by the familiar noise I did not hear just a few hours ago. There is a comfort to the noise, it makes me feel aware, feel free, feel _alive_.

We sit at our usual table, at the far end. Soon after Zeke joins in, like Will he has bloodshot eyes and tousled hair. Afterwards, Lynn, Marlene and Shauna come not looking too far bad as Zeke did. They all sit in the same table as Christina and I. shortly after, Tobias comes in. I can't help but stare, he looks stunning, he _always_ does. He wears his usual black shirt and jeans; he walks towards us then sits beside me and laces his fingers around mine.

"Good morning" he whispers as he kisses my cheek. "morning" I reply doing the same gesture.

Finally, Uriah and Will come in looking like the worst of the bunch. Uriah has a very red face, Will is just a few shades lighter, they are both wearing the same clothes they wore last night, and I don't think they were able to pass by a mirror because it seems to me they forgot to 'fix' their hair, it stands up in all directions like a hurricane just passed by their heads.

They take their seat with a plop.

"what are you looking at?" Uriah says in between yawns. "Dude, what happened?" Zeke says fighting back a laugh. "Marlene is what happened" Uriah replies as he winks at Marlene. She turns into 50 shades of red then punches his arm playfully. "ow!" Uriah pouts at her, as the table erupted into a thunder of laughter.

I start playing with the peas on my plate; I started forming a smiley face out of it. "why so happy there, sunshine?" Uriah teases. I shrug and continue with my masterpiece. He grabs the fork from my hand "stop it! You're freaking me out". I grab it back from him and start fixing the face; I put a dimple on the left side of its smile and then made the eyes bigger. "ta-da!" I announced as I lifted my plate for everyone to see. And again, the table erupted with laughter.

Then the laughing stops. The whole Pit becomes silent which is awfully odd since that never happens. But there is nothing but pure silence.

Everyone looks at the door as someone comes in.

**Reviews would be greatly apprecated. :) as well as opinions and suggestions.**

**oh and can anyone give me names that begin with the letter "R".**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**hello!**

**do not own nothin' **

I follow everyone's stares as it leads to the door of the Pit. There, someone stands.

She looks stunning, _absolutely _stunning. _She_ has wavy dirty blonde hair falling all the way at the middle of her back with 2 red highlights on the right side. She stands with poise and authority. Her back straight and chin up. She is tall, _very _tall perhaps, about 5 foot and 10 inches. She wears a red shirt with a black leather jacket on top and tight fitting pants. She's very slim, but not as thin as I am, she has curves in all the right places. She wears no make-up but the thickness of her eyelashes proves otherwise, making her look like she's wear eyeliner giving her light blue eyes a striking glow.

Everyone and I mean _everyone_ is staring at her. No one is talking, complete silence. _Who is she?_

She runs her fingers through her hair and smiles to the ground. She seems to not like the attention but still welcomes it. _My_ whole table is staring at her. I turn back to them and snap my fingers in front of their faces. "earth to Zeke, earth to Uriah, EARTH TO EVERYONE" I say out loud snapping my fingers at them. They snap out of it and look at me like they've seen a ghost. I sigh with relief "whew, I thought I lost you guys" I think I'm still losing them since they're not replying. "who is she?" I ask. "she…" Zeke points at her, "is Four's girlfriend" he turns around and points at Tobias. He hasn't spoken since she came, he's still _staring_.

All I could answer was "oh".

_She_ looks around the room and sees our table then starts walking towards us. _Isn't she supposed to be dead?_ She looks damn well alive to me.

She starts towards our table, dignity in every step. She doesn't look vicious like most dauntless leaders, in fact if she weren't wearing black you'd mistaken her face for amity, because she looks pleasant and friendly, but the way she carries herself gives her a sort of power and influence. She sits gracefully in front of me and beside Zeke. I can feel Tobias tense beside me clutching my hand tighter like he's about to pass out and as I look at him he _does_ look like he's about to pass out, his knuckles are so white from clutching my hand and his face is white.

Everyone looks as if they've seen a ghost, technically, they did. Since she's _supposed to be dead!_ for crying out loud.

_Most_ of the Pit has continued talking but only quiet whispers; they would occasionally stare at our table or point to the dazzling girl in front of me. My table remains silent.

"uhmmmm" Christina says awkwardly breaking everyone from their daze. "hmmm" the girl says, even her voice is beautiful, making song birds go to shame. She looks to Christina and then to me, those light blue eyes piercing into me. Then she takes a good look around the table, back at Christina then to Tobias, she takes extra long looking at him, then back to me and to our intertwined fingers.

"well, so, we have a candor" _she_ says, looking at Christina, how would she know? "and we have a _stiff_" she turns her head to me. "wanna introduce 'em Zeke?" she nudges Zeke, who just seems like he was woken up from a dream. "uh that's Christina" he motions to Chris, "and that's… Tris" he then motions to me. She cocks her head to the side and takes me in, I can feel like she's studying me inside out that if she looks long enough she'd be able to take note of every secret I have.

But she _smiles._

She smiles the most beautiful smile, it's not depraved or wicked like what Eric gives, but it almost looks sincere, _almost_.

"I'm Red"

More awkward silence, she tolerates it for a while. But perhaps the stares she couldn't take any longer. "what?" Red says, annoyed looking at everyone, not quite meeting Tobias' eyes, who still haven't spoken. "aren't you supposed to be like… _dead_?!" Uriah asks bluntly, great! Leave it to Uriah to make things even more awkward than they already are, Red chuckles. "I know" everyone's eyes widen. What?! She _knows_ that she's supposed to be _dead_. I mean, knock knock Red are you crazy?

She must've seen the look in our eyes, because she continues to explain herself further more. "as you all know, I'm a dauntless-leader-in-training, am I right?" we all nod.

"there were 3 stages, very much similar to initiation. First is purely physical, they would train me to be the best fighter, the second was primarily, emotional, and like initiation they gave me serums to face fearful situations, the third was mental, but unlike the fear landscape they gave me a…" she stopped and pondered for a moment, thinking.

"a 'life' landscape, it lasted long, _very_ long. They warned me that most I could be in it for 5 months and least is 2" how could that be possible? Someone else speaks my mental question "but how would you eat? Take baths? You know the necessities?" Christina voices out. Red stares at her, obviously not liking the fact someone interrupted her, but she answered her question anyhow. "they'd set me up in an IV, and occasionally have the medics give me anti-septic wipes as a bath" she replies matter-of-factly.

"as I was saying… in the simulation I would be living out my life how I thought it would, being in dauntless, with my friends, with my…" she looks at Tobias, they hold their gaze for a good 5 seconds until he looks down, she continues on "doing what it is we do in our everyday lives, the only difference is they would incorporate your fear into everything you do" again she was interrupted, but this time by Lynn. She snorted "what's the point of that?"

Red glared at her. She has a kind face, but if you get in her nerves she will ruin you, that I know for sure.

"to know whether or not, once you are a dauntless leader, will I or will I not act upon my fear or decide my choices based on my ethical thinking" she talks like an erudite, but by the way she showed how she did not like attention, proved otherwise. "it continued on my head for years, but in reality it had only been months, once they've gotten their conclusions they tried waking me up, but they couldn't-" "why?" Will asked now. "listen, Erudite, I thought you smart-mouths were more clever than this, did they not teach you manners in your all-knowing-faction?" she snap back. Her voice was calm and composed it wasn't a deadly or lethal comeback it was more of a warning, but still it would send shivers down ones spine.

Will just looked away and clenched his teeth.

"because I had gone down the wrong road in my simulation, I opened doors in my mind that I wasn't supposed to, I unlocked feelings I wasn't meant to feel, it then caused me to remain under the simulation, in the very deep corners of it, I was so far away they couldn't reach me" she took a moment to breathe as if remembering all of it made her run out of breath again.

"they decided to just abandon the project" she says quietly looking down at the table. She seemed weak for a moment, but it left just as fast as it came. She composed herself once more.

"you mean, let you die?" I sputter out not meaning to. She remains silent. "that's absurd! They have no right to do that, they can't just let a human be their lab rat for a new experiment and leave it there to die…" I don't know this girl, I've _never_ even seen her my whole life, but I have the need to defend her like we have so much in common. _But we don't_. at the moment, the only thing that ties me to this girl is her history with Tobias.

She doesn't speak. She doesn't even look at me. But she continues on looking at the far end of the Pit.

"I woke up eventually, but by that time I was already in a place I did not know of, it was a warehouse, not a faction-less one, just a warehouse, there were stockpiles of clothes, ones that were used for making ours. When I got out there were fields and forests, stretching to the far ends" it must've been beautiful. "I started hiking, I walked and jogged and ran until I reached Amity HQ, they welcomed me, fed me, until I was well enough to travel again, on my way here Max found me before I made it to the compound" there's disgust in her voice, she must despise him.

She remained silent.

"what happened?" for the first time, since she came _he_ finally speaks. Tobias.

Red looks up and looks straight into his eyes "he apologized". There were gasps and protests of disbelief, Max is not one to show apology to anyone, but this just shows how much authority Red really has among the dauntless.

"I arrived 2 days ago, but decided to let initiation finish before showing up to you guys" she shrugged. Again, our table is covered with a thick blanket of awkward silence. Nobody spoke; I couldn't blame them I don't really know what to say. But of course as always, Uriah breaks off the tension

He jumps out of his seat and hugs Red, enveloping her in a big bear hug.

At first she stiffens, not used to the physical affection but soon melts into his embrace. She chuckles, "I missed you too Uriah". She brings her arms around him and hugs him tighter. "Damn it Red! You friggin' scared me to death, you're like a big sister to me, and I can't damn loose you" he says. Zeke is the next to hug her after Uriah let go of her. "Glad to have you back Red, I missed your gorgeous ass" Zeke chuckled. Everyone started giving their 'I missed you' and 'welcome back' except for well, Christina, Will, me, and… Tobias. He wouldn't even _look_ at her.

I squeezed his hands twice to reassure him, he squeezed it back and gave me a look saying 'later'.

The welcoming party was interrupted by, of course, no one else but Eric.

**I would insanely appreciate it if you guys would tell me what you think, like uhmmm suggestions? viloent reactions? haha. please do review! one review a day keeps the nightmares away? did that even make sense? haha.**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**this is really short, but i wanted it to end this way so yeah. it's short. haha! there's only so much a 12-yearold girl can do.**

**i do not own anything!**

Eric walks up to us, a smirk playing across his face, but unlike Red's it had a sinister feel to it.

He stood right behind Red and stared at the whole group, Red didn't seem to mind his presence she simply ignored him and continued eating her lunch.

"heard your back from the dead Red" Eric says, laying a hand on her shoulder. Again, Red doesn't flinch or react; she simply remains composed and completely calm. "I'm gonna say this once, and once only Eric, do. Not. Touch. Me" she threw every word at him like a dagger, a quiet lethal weapon. He shrugged but still kept his hand on her shoulder. "that's no way to treat the new dauntless leader, oh by the way, while you were M.I.A. on us, I took your position" he smirked hand still positioned on her shoulder. He must really _underestimate _her.

"I'll give you 5 seconds to extract your hand from my shoulder" she warns, still in a quiet voice. His hand remains, he snorts. "5, 4, 3, 2," he places both hands on both her shoulders "1, wrong move Eric" she twists around, and grabs both Eric's wrists. He tries to wriggle out of her death grab but he can't free himself.

I've never seen Eric so vulnerable.

Red jumps out of her seat, her hands still grabbing both or Eric's wrists. She turns around twisting his arms, he groans in pain, she brings them around his back, then kicks him at the back, making him kneel. "I asked you nicely" she whispers. It amazes me how she can remain so composed. "Apologize" Red commands. The whole Pit had stopped and watched; again we are covered by a blanket of silence.

Eric only snorts, "to you? Never" he sneers at her. "wrong answer" she twists his arms even more, he cries in pain. "apologize!" he remains silent with gritted teeth. She twists harder, if she twists even more she could tear his arms off of his body. "I'm sorry" he whispers. "I didn't hear you" "I'm sorry! He shouts louder. Everyone in the Pit laughs.

She grabs hold of his arms a little longer, "I am not someone you'd like to start a fight with Eric, put that into your dim-witted head" she whispered to him in a deadly tone, the same tone Four the instructor would use. I wonder if she got that from him, or he got that from her.

Red finally lets go of his arms, she stands up straighter and wipes her hands on her jeans as if touching something contaminated. She turns around to walk out but Eric swings a punch.

Her reflexes are truly remarkable, she turns around just before it could hit her, and grabs his fist with her arm and twists it again. Once she's got a death hold on it, she kicks him in the groin, _hard_. He falls to the ground with a thud and forms into a ball. She doesn't stop there, she kicks him again multiple times and he groans in pain, a pool of blood has started forming around him. No one comes to help him. No one comes to stop Red either.

"are you deaf or are you just stupid?" her voice has raised a bit." I told you to not start a fight" he just groans and forms an even smaller ball. "well? are you going to lie down there and let a girl beat you to a pulp?" no one, aside from Tobias, has ever beaten Eric.

"fight Eric"

with that he slowly stands up, throws a kick but Red blocks it too easily. She pushes him forward with his foot and he stumbles, then she throws a punch, her _first_ punch, and apparently her last. He's _knocked out cold._

The Pit erupts in cheers; apparently everyone hates him as much as Red does. Paramedics come to help him up just as Red is about to walk out, she abruptly stops in her tracks she spins around "no" her voice is soft, not so harsh as it was a while ago but it's authoritative. "leave him, let him get up on his own. He did this to himself, let him be responsible for the aftermath" she commands.

The Medics nod.

They didn't even protest, they'd rather listen to this _girl_ who just came back after what? A year, rather than help one of the dauntless leaders. I guess they'd rather have an angry Eric than a disappointed Red.

She walks out, head held up high, poise in every step the way she came inside, leaving everyone with their eyes wide and mouths open.

I have an all new respect for her.

**you know the drill: please please pretty please review, it makes me all bubbly and happy. :)**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**i'm supposed to be sleeping, but i couldn't sleep, i'm rebellious so i used my laptop. hihihi.**

**oh and WeasleyQueen11, hmmmm... I guess you'll have to keep reading to find out. *wink* *wink*, but regarding Tobias and Tris ending up together we'll see if they will, or _will they?_ muwahhahahaha! :)**

"damn she's hot" Zeke says once she's out of sight.

Shauna punches him playfully, but hard. That could be told from his reaction to the pain. The Pit returns to its boisterous state, voices echoing around, having nowhere to escape. But _her_ voice is all that is stuck in my mind.

_'I am not someone you'd like to start a fight with'_

She certainly isn't.

"why is her name Red?" Christina voices out. "I mean, I saw the red streaks in her hair and all but why Red?"

No answers.

It's Tobias who speaks up now, aside from the question he raised earlier about what happened between her and Max, he has been unmistakably quiet. "she wanted a name, that would brand her" he says looking down unto his lap, he looks up. "she thinks that people underestimate her because she _looks_ kind and incapable of fighting, but as you saw earlier she is _very_ capable of fighting and not all that kind" she isn't exactly kind but I wouldn't call her unpleasant either. "although, that is where the idea of getting a nickname came from, the name Red didn't actually come into mind" he gives a silent thought.

"Zeke, do you remember Red's first fight in initiation?"

"yeah" he recalls quietly, as if ashamed to be remembering the past, as if it were something he did not like to know or would rather forget but couldn't.

"well, that's where her nickname came from. Her first fight in dauntless initiation earned her the name, it ended in blood. Lots of blood" Tobias speaks, Zeke lowers his head. "she went against Zeke with no mercy, she was tired of people underestimating her and wanted a bold way of showing them what she could do if people _push_ her to her edge" _how does he know all this?_ "so everyone started calling her Red, she earned her title".

"I've heard of this Bitch, but I mean – I've never seen her in _action_ before, she's like a dauntless God!" Lynn raises her hands in the air with disbelief.

The rest of the conversations are mostly about Red, if not _exactly_ about Red, it has something to do _about_ her. I just zone out their conversations, she's not someone I'd like to think about right now.

"Tris?... TRIS!" Uriah shouts into my ear, I jump in my seat and lean away from him. I think he broke my ear drums with his loud remark. "what? What? Sorry, I think I'm deaf. I don't know, oh yeah! You shouted in my EAAAAR!" I shouted back at his ear, and same as my reaction he jumped and leaned away from me. Everyone starts giggling. "well, now that your awake, and you can hear me; and for the fifteenth time I will ask you ' . .choosing'?" he annunciates every word. I haven't given a thought about it. I honestly don't know. Although, I was pondering about being a… this would lead into serious awkwardness, and that would honestly be the last thing I want. "I don't know"

"liar" Christina snaps at me. Stupid candor.

"am not"

"you are"

"not"

"are"

"not"

"are!"

"Not!"

"children, children please we know you are children, but please for the sake of the people who are trying to have a decent lunch at least act your age" Uriah says matter-of-factly. Pointing his finger in the air like a school teacher, teaching kids how to count. Christina and I smack his head in the same time, bringing his head to the soup which splashes around the place like someone dived into a pool. "HEY!"

Everyone had erupted into laughter, some hitting on the table from laughing too hard.

He looks silly, there are noodles on his head making him look like he has blonde wiggly hair. "I still wanted to eat that" he shrugs sheepishly. "you still could" I tell him suggestively. He makes vomiting sounds and everyone's laughing grows even louder.

_Thank God they forgot abou-_

"but really Tris, what job are you choosing?" Uriah asks as we all calm down. I think about staying quiet but Christina's stare tells me otherwise, she gives me her 'if-you-lie-I'll-know' look. "uhmmm… I wanted to be a …leader, a dauntless leader" I say quietly. i make a mantra; no one heard it, no one heard it, no one heard it, no one heard it.

I don't know when I decided I wanted to be a dauntless leader, but I just did. I'm not power-hungry, I do not seek authority. But I look for change, and this faction needs it. The dauntless have good intentions, their manifesto says so, but from what I see in the leaders, it seems like they're in for a different change. I believe that if you want something to happen, you must act _first_, we shouldn't rely on others. And that if I were a leader I'd be able to speak that idea out and _actually_ have people listen to me.

"no really Tris, what are you choosing?" Uriah asks incredulously. He's the only one who can't seem to accept my answer, because everyone else seems to know that I mean what I said. I just shrug. He remains silent, perhaps he now understand the weight of my seriousness.

Lunch finally finishes after feeling like eternity.

Since it is just after initiation, the whole dauntless gets a week off. There's really not much to do, and the Abnegation inside of me is telling me to help out, in the kitchen, tattoo parlor, anywhere, as long as I don't just stand here and do nothing. I _have_ to do something, but I can't bring my body to move.

So I just go into the dorm and probably rest my head on a pillow, to clear my mind. Rest is an understatement, because yet again, I fall asleep.

"TRIS WAKE UP. WAKE UP. WAKE -" Christina pours cold water on me. "arghhh!" I scream at her. This must be her retaliation from what I've done to her this morning. She giggles from my reaction. I stand up and wake up as she wished, but as I took a step off the bed, I _slip_ probably from the water. This earns me more laughing from Christina. _Ugh_. I'm so clumsy.

"where's everyone?" I look around the room, and there's no one here, all their things have gone and some are set up ready to leave. Christina and I are the only ones here. "this is exactly why I woke you up! We're getting our room assignments!" she squeaks. "oooooooooh I hope we're _floor_ mates!"

We walk out of the dorm, our bags on either side of our arms, I only have one big bag and a duffle bag, Christina on the other hand has 3 rolling bags, 3 luggage bags, 2 duffle bags and 4 boxes which I'm guessing are her shoes. "are you bringing clothes to give to the whole faction or something?" I ask eyeing all the bags and luggage she's bringing. "my whole life are in here" she motions to the bags. I roll my eyes at her, to Chris the whole world to her are her clothes and Will of course, but mostly her clothes. I do not have a doubt in my mind that if she were to pick over her life or her clothes would she pick her clothes.

We arrive at a desk, with manila envelopes and our names listed on top of them, a clipboard beside not so far away. We take the envelopes from the young lady, sign the clipboard and make our way. Christina opens her's first. "yiieeeeee! I'm beside Will, 304 A!" Will is 304 B. how lucky of them. I open mine next I'm 408 B. "I'm one floor above you" I say sadly, but on the bright side, I'm just 2 doors away from Tobias and 3 doors away from Uriah. "awwwwwww! But you have to promise me you'll drop by my room before going to breakfast" she says, sadness filling her eyes. "promise" I pledge. "everyday?" _if I can wake up that early._ "yes"

My apartment is just like any other apartment, it's a one-bedroom unit, with a stationary kitchen for basic purposes, a powder room, and a bathroom inside the bedroom. I lay my bags down the living area and make my way to the bedroom, it's not too big or too small, one thing is for sure, it's _too_ black. I'm sure Chris will bring me shopping for Home Decors soon. I groan at the thought

I walk around inspecting every detail, there's a lamp beside the bed, a reading table on the other side of the room and a chair. On the table was a vase of Flowers and a note, with my name carved on it meticulously.

The note read;

Tris,

Meet me at the Ferris Wheel at 8.

-Tobias

**i would really appreciate it if you guys could review, just to let me know if someone is actually reading it and liking it. cause i have very very low self-esteem... and yeah. i would really appreciate it.**

**xoxo**

**-R**

**your 12-year-old friend.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm sorry if I haven't updated as frequently, you see I had this chapter typed up already. I honestly did. **

**Though, the problem was my Grandmother had discovered Facebook recently, and she caught up to the craze only now. Believe me when I say that seeing your granny catch up with her High school buddies and talk about their Ex-boyfriends is the most dreadful thing in the world. Haha! Although, I do love my granny I just hope she would next time get her own computer to hog. **

**I'd like to give a shout out to; Nia Pietrovski, blazinglizard09, livingtodance, mwwolf, raineyg123, WeasleyQueen11, SyrezeDF, Iris Molefoursted, parkerhoops5 for either following or reviewing, and to the others I might have not mentioned. Also to Jaylee13, Deena, Kay and to the guests who had reviewed, hopefully next time you could type up a name so I could thank you more appropriately. :) R&R**

I have 28 minutes to get to the tracks before the train comes. I should have more than enough time to get to the Ferris wheel before 8, although the question bothering me is; _should I change?_ This is a 'Christina Reaction'. I guess being around her for so long has made her _Christina-ness_ rub on me. Should I change into something more appropriate?_ Yes_. Will I change into something more appropriate? _No._ why not Tris? _You very well know why not, you lazy-ass. _

I am lazy. I will not change.

So instead I just go to the tracks directly, it's early indeed it is, then again I'd rather be early than sit around and wait until I'm late.

I take my time walking around dauntless to get outside, It feels good to be able to do anything and go anywhere without having to worry about informing anyone. _I'm free._

The uneven rocky walls are soothing. The way they seem to not have an arrangement yet have a particular pattern, from big bulging rocks to smaller rocks and smaller rocks, to big bulging rocks and smaller rocks again. It goes on and on.

I twiddle toddle my way to the tracks, balancing myself on the railings waiting for the train to come. There is a cold breeze tonight, I can feel it, and by the way the air is humid I can tell that rain is not too far away. The brass railings start to shake, telling me that the train is nearby. I swiftly jump off and wait as the train passes by. I start with a jog at first, into a run, and then a sprint pumping my arms harder every breath as I match my speed with the train.

I jump in and land with a thump.

My shoulder aches, but it's nothing too severe, nothing I couldn't handle. Besides, I've been through much _worse,_ remembering the day at the chasm when Peter, Al, and Drew threatened to take my life. I feel shivers thinking of Al. All these actions, all that they have _done_, they are _nothing_ but the products of their insecurities. They are _cowards_. Peter _is_ a coward, he's the one who wanted me dead but instead brought along 2 other guys, 3 against 1. That was _unfair_, he _knew _it. As much as I'd like to have confidence in my strength, I'm not stupid; I know his brute strength is beyond my capability. On the other hand, peter lacks something I attain; tactic.

He can win a fight with strength, but if he were to go against someone with equal or _even more_ strength then he'd loose in a matter of seconds.

But that night wasn't all pain.

I became closer to Tobias that night, he gave me a link to him, he made a bridge between us. He let me _in_, just a little to see who _he_ is. So, if I were to be asked, do I regret that night? Would I have rather stayed in the Dorm? _No._

I would go through it day after day, night after night, if it means Tobias opening a _little_ bit every time, giving me one _step_ closer, I would.

I see the park nearing in, I take an intake of breath and count, _one_, _two, _and _three. _

Jump.

The air is frigid, I instantly regret not bringing a jacket. I have this park memorized like the back of my hand, not that I visit it often times, although, I dream of it almost every night, going back to the climb I had with Tobias. He was to-me Four then, but now, he's… Tobias. And that gives the climb a whole new _view_ to it.

I see the faded colors of yellow and red of the carousel. _Red._

I wonder if Tobias chose to talk to me, because of _her_. Somewhere on my way here, I convinced myself that I wouldn't bring it up and instead wait for him to do so. I pretty much sure there's a rule about 'not-asking-your-boyfriend-about-his-back-from-the-dead-ex-girlfriend'.

The Ferris wheel stands the way it was when we played capture the flag. It looks rigid, so **fragile** like it's about to collapse. But even if it's foundation tells it that its due for breakdown, it still stands _tall_ and proud, ready to defy nature. Ready to _fight to keep standing._

I turn the corner, looking for him. And I find _him_ there standing by the bars near the climb up the Ferris wheel, leaning unto it his hand in his pockets, he's deep in thought, he mustn't have heard me coming because his body and expression remains undisturbed.

He looks magnificent, under the moonlight, having the white light cast around him, magnifying each feature. His eyes glow a dreamy blue, he looks like a shadow, something you wouldn't think is real, but he _is_, and I'm here to witness it.

I should probably descend from the shadows and inform him of my presence but I can't bring my feet to move, they stay fastened to the ground and my eyes stayed glued to him.

Quietly, I sneak up to him, hoping to scare him I guess. But I know that that wouldn't be possible since I'm sure he was aware of my presence the moment I stepped out of the shadows, on the other hand his posture remains the unchanged. But I know better.

I wrap my arms tightly around his waist from behind. He brings his hands on top of mine.

"you saw my note?" he asks, as he turns around from my embrace to face me, my hands still locked behind him.

"how could I not? It's the only thing in the room that wasn't black" I note sarcastically, although there were occasional white cloths or a red bannister, the room was dominantly black. He laughs at my remark.

If someone were to tell me 3 weeks ago that Four my instructor could laugh at my sarcastic jokes, I would laugh at their face and tell them it was impossible. But seeing it right now in front of my very own eyes makes me think that it would be impossible to find Tobias my boyfriend to be serious.

I smirk at the thought.

I kiss his cheek, I couldn't help it, I put an even tighter grip hold of his waist.

"what are you smirking about, _little girl_?" he had discovered that calling me 'little girl' pushes my buttons which he ultimately likes to do. So I've learned that if I ignore it, it would dissipate, _but that didn't happen_.

"oh nothing, I just find that you have nice eyelashes, _Four_" two can play that game.

And again he laughs. I haven't heard him laugh so many times in just 2 minutes. I beam at him. "what?" he questions. "I've never heard you laugh" he raises an eyebrow at me. "well, I've heard you laugh before but I've never heard you laugh _this_ much". He smiles at me. a _real_ smile, one I haven't seen him give in a while.

He leans in to kiss me. It's a lingering kiss, not as desperate as the night before. I swiftly move my hands from his waist to his neck, my fingers playing idly with his hair. He smiles against my lips and sighs. "I have something to show you"

He motions for the ladder climbing up the Ferris Wheel. I start climbing my first rung and then my second to my third so on and so forth. He continues not too far behind me, I would occasionally look down to see how he's doing, every ten feet or so, his face would get an even paler white if it were even possible and his breaths would become unsteady. I'd give him a reassuring smile every now and then.

Once we reach the middle part of the Wheel where the platform is, I stop and step on top of it, sitting down on the edge letting my feet dangle off. I can feel Tobias come behind me.

He doesn't come near the edge; he just stays behind me, _figures_.

"so what was it you wanted to show me?" I still trail my eyes forward, looking at the whole city, there are lights from the far distance which I'm very much sure are the Erudite's, from here I can see the faint trail of the gray houses of Abnegation.

He comes closer, so close that I can feel his breath on the skin of my neck. "that" he points to the night sky. There are unclear balls of light shining down the sky, like rain except they're on fire. There are occasional balls at first until it becomes frequent like _real_ rain.

"what are they?"

"it's called a meteor shower" he whispers in my ear, only then am I aware of how nearby he is. "they only come every 40 to 50 years or so" his lips slightly brush against my earlobe sending a tingling feeling through me.

More comes, showering down. A _meteor shower,_ "it's beautiful" the sky looks like a million lanterns has been lit up. Like the stars were replaced with even bigger ones.

"indeed it is" but only when I turn around to face him when I realize he hasn't paid much attention to the meteor shower, he's looking at me, nowhere but _me_. "what?" I ask sheepishly, feeling the blood rush into my cheeks as I say so.

"I could see 300 meteor showers in a lifetime Tris, but they would be nothing compared to seeing you" he says breathless.

In one fluid motion he brings his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him, nearer to the safer side of the platform. He places a finger underneath my chin and tilts my head just enough for me to face him. Again, I am awestruck by his features. Those dreamy blue orbs looking into mine, that strong jawline that I long to touch, those strong lips I want to feel against my own. He's simply _beautiful_.

"there are many things in this damn world you might find beautiful Tris, but in _mine_ nothing can ever be more beautiful than you" he says in a soft voice, bringing our foreheads together. "I'm no – " I start to protest but am interrupted by his crashing lips into mine.

I cup his face in my hands and pull him closer to me. He brings his hands to the back of my neck and does the same. I then, move my other hand to his chest and feel his heartbeat match mine, our fast pacing rhythm as one. We are Four and Six.

My hand slides down to his stomach feeling every muscle. I have the urge to go lower, but I know where to stop. His tongue presses down my lower lip asking for entrance, I keep it shut teasing him a bit, he groans. I smile against his lips and open just a bit; he nudges it open with his tongue and starts exploring. Our tongues dance in a fast pace matching each other's action in the other's mouth.

The rain starts pouring, just as I foretold.

He slowly pulls away, and sighs. "we should probably go back" he says, our foreheads still joined together.

"yeah, before they send a search party looking for us" I laugh quietly. He kisses me once more, a peck on the tip of my nose.

We walk hand on hand to the edge of the platform, and as we get there I can feel his hands become sweaty, his fear must be taking over. He holds on tighter only to let go to be able to climb our way down. "should I go first?" I offer to him, seeing his ghostly expression. "no, I should" and without my consent, he goes on first. It amazes me how even with his fears in front of him, his instincts to be selfless takes over nonetheless.

The climb down wasn't as dangerous as the last one, when I almost plummeted to my death. However, the rungs were a bit slippery from the rain, I had a good grip on it to prevent me from falling.

We took our time walking to the tracks in silence, enjoying each other's presence. That was all I could ask for; _him_.

The train ride carried out much like the walk, we were both silent, only our even breaths could be heard through the loud roar. My head rested upon his shoulder, his arms tightly wrapped around me in a protective embrace.

"I love you" he whispers to my hair. Before I fully fall into sleep I reply "and I love you"

**as always; please review. it gives me more energy to update :)**

**xoxo**

**-R**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm sorry it took so long. I had exams to study for, there is only so much an 8th Grader could do.**

**i also might not be able to update until after Christmas, but I'll try. **

**Anyways, as much as I'd like to claim all of Veronica Roth's works as my own, my moral thinking wouldn't let me so… I don't own anything. R&R!**

**(I'd like to thank CrazyAnnoying, NashPriorEaton, SyrezeDF, Thecrazygirl, raineyg123, Maya Mee, and the other guests that have reviewed, and to those that read it anyhow)**

When we get back to Dauntless there is an eerie feel to the place, there are absolutely no people around. It seems as though everyone has left for a vacation without any notice, something is _off_ and I know. I know that Tobias knows it too. He looks around inspecting the place, but there is a difference between us, he doesn't seem to be as surprised as I am.

"where is everyone?" I ask.

He just shrugs, and we keep walking. We walk through the Pit and not a single sign of life. Around are still plates with food on them, as if the ones eating were not able to finish it. It was a _standstill_.

I pop my head up to ask another question, but he seems to be focused on just walking. So I let my curiosity subside. _Was there something that happened while I was asleep on the train? Because Tobias doesn't seem like himself._ Nothing seems normal.

As we wind through the halls we pass by a girl, no older than 17. She looks frightened, _terrified_. The moment she sees us she ducks her head, probably hoping we didn't see her. _But we did._ Either that or I'm hallucinating.

"where is everyone?" I ask the girl.

She looks me in the eyes; her green ones are full of terror. She opens her mouth to speak but closes them once more, thinking.

"You didn't see me, if _she_ asks i…" she's shaking now, frantic to get away. "I wasn't here!" she says out loud and runs of the opposite direction. Her voice still echoes down the noiseless corridor.

"that was weird" I whisper more to myself. I look at Tobias and he's not grasping it as much as I am. To him, it all seems… normal. As if there's something he knows that I don't. and who was the girl talking about when she said 'if _she_ asks' who's _she_?

I link my fingers with Tobias' but he doesn't return the gesture, something _is_ wrong.

He looks as though he cannot see me. "Tobias?" I call out his name. He still doesn't speak. "Tobias!" I say louder, snapping my fingers in front of his face. He remains silent, looking into the far end of the hall. I shake him, he doesn't react.

"Four?" a voice calls somewhere near the end of the hall where an intersection is. I know that voice too well, even though I've only heard it once.

_Red_

She turns from the left corridor entering the one we're in.

Tobias starts walking up to her, bumping me along the way. He has no regard for my presence and it hurts a bit. He walks all the way to her without turning around; he's lifeless as he takes one step after the other. He doesn't seem to comply with what he is doing. I follow him from behind, quietly.

Once he and Red come face to face, she looks at him for a moment, analyzing him. "Four!" she screams in delight, she is so different from the Red I saw in the Pit. She bring her arms around his neck, and as she does this gesture I unconsciously clench my hands, I _want _to punch her, I _will_ punch her.

"where is everyone?" this will be the third time I asked this goddamn question.

"I had everyone leave so…" she doesn't answer _me_, rather she says it to Tobias who still looks lifeless in her arms, and his hands fall to his sides. "you and I can be alone" she whispers in a seductive way into his ear.

I am about to punch her when…

She bring her mouth to Tobias' and I can see the muscles in her slender arms contracting as she brings him into a death hold, very much like what she did to Eric.

I bite back tears, I will not show weakness.

Tobias' eyes are open, he's kissing her back, and by the way he's holding her waist, I can see that he's _enjoying_ it. He looks at me, though his body language says that he likes what he is doing, his eyes say otherwise. They are almost…

_Pleading_

Pleading what? For them to stop? For me to go away? I can't understand.

But I see it, like a message was sent right through my brain; he wants me to stop her. I pull her away from him; I try to pull her arms off of him. But I can't she's too strong for me.

"STOP!" I scream at her, but she won't. I try to knee her, but it won't work, it's as if she is immune to me. I punch her stomach, elbow, knee, punch. _Nothing_.

I want to break them apart, but every ounce of energy I have is not enough, seeing them so close, seeing _him_ so happy… it's tearing me apart, eating me from the inside.

Then she pulls away, but keeps her arms around Tobias's neck.

"you know, you can go now, I mean, he just _used_ you to get over me… " she snaps at my face, even though she's nowhere near to hurt me, I feel as though she just stabbed me. "but _I'm_ here, and as far as I'm concerned… you're _useless"_

Tobias is the next to speak. "I'm sorry Tris, I tried, I, I- I did try to love you, but I can't." he brings his arms around Red's waist and pulls her closer to him, this gesture is so familiar to me I can't believe seeing him do it to anyone else. He looks me straight in the eye, "I love her, I've _always_ loved her, I always will" seriousness dripping from his voice.

They're voices echo in my head

_I'm here… you're useless_

_I've always loved her_

_He just used you to get over me_

_I tried to love you but I can't_

Then I awake.

I bolt upright on my bed.

_It was just a dream_.

all those things Tobias said, everything – it's just a lie. It's a dream, nothing _but_ a dream – I tell myself. A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream, A dream.

For a slight second I don't realize right away where I am because to me, it all seems so foreign. But as soon as I rub the sleep of my eyes, I realize that I'm in _my_ apartment, my _new _apartment. Something that _I_ own.

_I wonder how I got here._

There is a faint memory of me boarding the train with Tobias, that is all I remember, nothing more, nothing less. But knowing Tobias, he must've carried me here, not wanting to wake me up. I give him a silent 'thank you' in my head, for doing such a kind gesture.

I lay my head back down to my pillow hoping to fall asleep, hoping that some force can pull me into deep slumber. I know that won't happen, I am far too awake to fall back asleep again.

I try anyway, focusing on the softness of the pillow surrounding my head. I let my thoughts shift to good things, but with everything I think of it all revolve back to Red.

This is useless.

I glance up to the clock hanging on the wall in front of my bed, i guess the dauntless were 'kind' enough to out a clock in my apartment. It read; 1: 07 am.

It irritates me how nightmares always make me end up waking up early in the morning and not giving me a chance to get back into bed.

My stomach starts grumbling.

I haven't had anything to eat since this morning, at lunch, and even at lunch I wasn't able to eat much because of – Red. _See?!_ I swear, everything leads back to her. I also wasn't able to eat dinner since I was far too asleep to even care, and Tobias as caring as he is didn't want to wake me up.

So here I am with a furious stomach waiting to be fed, and with the last grumble of fury my belly makes I decide to go to the Pit.

There are no people down the halls, it's mostly quiet aside from a few snores you hear from people inside their apartments. It's almost eerie here, it reminds me very much of my dream.

Just a dream

The Pit is not too far as different from the corridors where the apartments are lined up. However, there are quite a few shops still open with light flickering, probably the maintenance staff. There are a few drunk guys playing along the side of the bar like little kids, they don't pay much attention to me, _whew_.

There are no food around since its past the meal times, so I go for snacks, dauntless has snack prepared 24/7 mainly for this reason, if people go hungry at night, they skipped a meal… or

_their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend came back from the dead and they had to eat little in lunch then they meets up with their boyfriend on top of a Ferris wheel to watch burning rocks fall from the sky and miss yet another meal –_ yes that is very normal indeed.

"hello dear, my, isn't it late at night for someone like you to be wondering around" the lady, fixing up the food, not too far from her 30s says to me. She has kind loving eyes, those you'd see in a mother's and a caring smile as well. An ache swells up inside me as I remember my _own_ mother's face, I quickly push the image away.

"I was just hungry" I shrug. "would there be anything I can eat?"

Some of the food I recognize as hamburger, chicken and cake – typical dauntless food. "well, what you see is what you can eat" she says motioning to the food. I may be hungry, but my stomach is demanding right now, it's being 'choosy'.

"would you happen to have any scrambled eggs?" I ask. Unconsciously remembering that that is what my mother would whip up for me when I couldn't sleep at night, of course this was our little secret because the Abnegation are not allowed to eat outside meal times, that would be self-indulgent.

The lady laughs "no, I'm sorry sweetie, but that's only Abnegation food, we have eggs but we don't 'scramble' them" _of course, stupid!_ I mentally give myself a face palm.

"I'd like to a hamburger instead then"

She goes back and comes out with a steaming freshly made hamburger and a mug with who-knows-what, moments later.

"here" she hands me the burger on a plate, I can tell that its very warm, as the plate itself is warm as well. "take this too" she gives me the mug, inside is a brown liquid, with a light brown twirl in the middle.

"what is it?" I ask questioning the liquid inside.

She laughs once more. I really am not experienced with food, _sigh_. "you're a really odd one aren't you?" she says to me. "I thought you looked like you might need it, it's coffee by the way, you look like someone who wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon so this helps you stay up" she motions to the mug in my hands.

_Helps me stay up?!_

_Coffee! Where have you been all my life? Oh how I would appreciate you being there when I needed you before my faction history exam, OH COFFEE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!_

I say my thanks to her and she waves me off.

I take my seat in a nearby table, there are very few people around. A couple at the far end of the Pit sharing a piece of cake, and a young man around 19 eating and reading what seems to be a book.

It figures that he would read at this time, because if he were seen reading by his friends, he would be teased and taunted to be thinking like an Erudite for reading a book. I silently wonder if he regrets making his choice of choosing dauntless, maybe he belonged somewhere else… like Erudite?

I shake the thought off.

The juice of the meat inside the burger dances in my mouth and lingers until I have to swallow it down, only now do I realize _how_ hungry I really am. At no time I finish the burger and wipe my face with a piece of tissue placed every table.

Coffee, hmmm, wouldn't it seem weird if a random lady would give you an unknown drink and tell you that you seemed like you needed it. At the moment I don't care, because in my hurry to take a seat I forgot to grab a drink and I can't bring my feet to move so instead I'll just drink this so called 'coffee'.

It's not exactly sweet, it has a bitter taste to it. But I like it. It lingers in my mouth until I swallow it down.

I close my eyes in the goodness of it.

Once I open them, I see the most unexpected person sitting in front of me.

Red

I almost jump in my surprise of her presence; she notices this and gives a little laugh. She seems nice, and I wouldn't want to test how far she'll go to keep being nice.

"you should never let down your guard, this world is a dangerous place, and closing your eyes might get you killed" her tone is serious, but her eyes are not. She has the same seriousness that Four has, but has the same kind eyes that Tobias holds. _I am officially crazy_.

"sorry" I mutter, I know I have nothing to be sorry for, but it just escapes my mouth.

I'm not really sure if I'm saying sorry for being so careless and putting my guard down or I'm saying sorry for owning the guy she has ever truly loved. If I'm saying sorry for taking away the one reason she has to live to thrive and survive. I don't know _why_ I'm sorry.

I just am

She nods to me. Perhaps, she sees my confusion or likewise. Am I really this transparent? How everyone can see through me, how they can understand and read every emotion I feel.

But then I remember the way she held Tobias in her arms, the way they kissed right in front of my face. It was just a dream, however, I cannot stop myself from being furious with her for making him seem… _happy_.

"why are you here?" I snap back rather too grumpily than how I would've wanted to sound.

"you seemed lonely, I thought you might want some company around" she says nicely despite my nastiness around her. I have nothing – solid – against her though I feel like I wanted to rip her into shreds and yet hug her in the same time.

She lost someone, and found them again, but found them in love with something else, like I lost Caleb and found him in love with Erudite and knowledge. She was able to pick whether to stay or to leave and she chose to leave, for that she left Tobias behind, even though he didn't say so I know he was tormented by her absence, for this I want to rip her to shreds.

She hasn't called me by name; I'm starting to wonder if she even knows it.

"couldn't sleep?" she asks, looking to the drunk guys I saw earlier.

"nightmares, you?" this is an Abnegation comeback, recently my Abnegation is showing, my inner selflessness threatening to show. The whole 'how are you?' 'good and you?' thing has stuck to me.

Perhaps your upbringing will never leave you. "careful Tris" that's the first time she said my name, she now looks to me, those light blue eyes almost grey piercing into my light blue ones as well. "your Abnegation is showing"

"how would you know?!" I spit at her. It's becoming extremely annoying how she keeps on analyzing me, how she keeps on telling me what to do… I've had enough of that from Four! "and why would you care?"

I'm still angry at her for leaving Tobias, though, the selfish side of me is grateful because of this I was able to call him 'mine'. But still a part of me aches for him, imagining how he felt when he lost the one he loved.

"because I was one" she says quietly, careful for no one to overhear her say it. She was from _abnegation_, that's why she didn't like the attention when she came in the Pit yesterday, that's why she carries a 'shy' smile even though she presents herself with dignity and pride.

_That's why she cares_

I remain silent, still awestruck by her honesty to me, her open-ness.

When the silent is intolerable she speaks up. "Tris, I do not wish to make an enemy out of you" she holds my gaze, and looks away.

there is an awkward silence covering us before she finally says...

"I know you love _him_" she doesn't need to specify who 'him' is, because we both know who she is talking about.

"I do too" she whispers, "I always have" she says much louder this time.

I have the urge to ask 'then why did you leave?' however, by the way she is speaking I can tell that this is something she wouldn't want to be interrupted in.

"and I know he loves _you_" she turns her head just a bit, and looks at me, not straight to me, just in my general direction. She says this like it's a relief to even _think_ of it.

"I have no plans of getting in between you two" she now looks straight _at_ me. "you make him _happy_ Tris, you're so much better for him than I was" I'd like to protest to that, because in fact in my nightmares, _she_ was the one who made him happy.

She leans into the table bringing her face close to mine, her eyes are magnetic; once you look at them you cannot look away, our eyes stay locked. Her face is serious.

"but know this, if you even think, or do anything… anything at all that would _hurt_ him, I swear, I will do everything in my power to make sure that will be the last thing you do" she's calm and composed, not angry or fuming. But the deathly silence of her tone, makes her seem more intimidating.

And with that last threat, she leaves walking out of the Pit and again, with the same poise and pride she carries along wherever she goes.

She is brave, because it takes _pure_ selflessness to let the one you love go for them to be happy, and to be selfless you must be brave.

She is _truly Abnegation_.

She is _brave._

My mother used to tell me; happiness is a choice; that only you can make. She used to say that if I were sad, then it was because I _chose_ to be sad. But then again, what if you didn't have a choice, what if the _only_ person that makes _me_ happy is… happy with someone else? Should I _choose_ to make them stay, to make _me _happy? I hope I'll never have to decide.

But If I do, and if the day comes that Tobias will be happy with someone else, then as much as it pains me to do so.

I _will_ choose to let him _go_.

I am selfless, I am brave, I am _dauntless_.

**A/N: you guys know the drill: please review and let me know what you think. There's this little voice inside my head that tells me "they don't like it" but I'd like to prove that voice wrong, haha! So please do review.**

**Oh! And a guest asked if my name was Red because I sign –R well, uhmm, no. my name is not Red, although it would be a cool name to have. This I can tell you though; it starts with an "R" wanna guess what it is?**

**Advanced Merry Christmas to all!**

**Xoxo**

**-R**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! How was your Christmas? Mine was terrible... I had colds and carried a box of tissue wherever I went, absolutely terrible. Haha on the bright side, everyone I love was there with me, so yeah... Too much sharing.**

**I had about a third of this chapter typed up until my Laptop gave up on me, so I had to use my phone, and believe me when I say autocorrect is the Devil to every writer, no wonder authors used BlackBerry instead of iPhones. Haha. Anyways R&R!**

**i own nothing (except for the plot and Red)**

**THANK YOU to; CrazyAnnoying, FourEvah786, NashPriorEaton and guests for reviewing, thank you for those who followed the story, and to those who read it :) you guys make my day.**

**Special thank you to: Abloodprincess for following me, and to DauntlessDivergent98, jordanlovesgrizzlybears, and katnissswan15 for favoriting. :)**

Her voice still rings in my head;

_'I know you love him'_

You do too

_'And I know he loves you'_

He still loves you

_'I have no plans of getting in between you two'_

But he wants you to

_'You are so much better for him than I was'_

You're here now, I'm useless

_'but know this, if you even think, or do anything… anything at all that would hurt him'_

I would never

_'I will do everything in my power to make sure that will be the last thing you do'_

If I hurt him, It would hurt me more than you could

I know he still loves her, although, he hasn't shown any signs of it, he hasn't said anything about the topic at all. they haven't talked at least once throughout her whole stay here. But these signs are exactly all I need from Tobias to know he has feelings for her. If he didn't, he wouldn't have minded talking to her, or at least being around her without fidgeting.

I want to ask him, I want to know so bad if he still loves her, so that I could prepare myself for letting go. I may not be selfless enough for Abnegation but I have enough to know that I would never be able to handle knowing, my being around is suffocating him.

But I can't, I wouldn't. I would rather let him have the time he needs to tell me. Its eating me inside out, I may not know everything, I may not even know enough about either of them. But I know, I know that Tobias loves her. He may fool everyone else that he doesn't care, he may even fool Red, but he can't fool me. I know him _too_ well.

I've drank most of the coffee, there are only a little bit of a residue left on the bottom of the mug. I suddenly miss the warmth it gave me. _Sigh._

I stand up, and throw the paper plate away, and leave the mug by the sink. The drunk guys must've left and it must be around 3 or 4 in the morning now. Doesn't matter I don't feel like sleeping.

The walk to my apartment seems to take forever. Only when I'm in front of my door do I realize… I left my damn key inside. _Shit_.

I analyze my options;

_I could go to the key keeper_

We have an office down by the Pit that keeps an extra key for these sole purposes. But they must be asleep, or if not then I wouldn't want to bother them at this time, besides I have no plans of sleeping anyways.

_I could go back to the Pit_

I just came from there, and there isn't much to do. I'm no longer hungry and I'm not in the mood to go shopping, in fact I'm _never_ in the mood to go shopping.

_I could stay with Christina_

She's one floor below, and my feet are too lazy to walk all the way there, even though I know that she'd gladly let me sleep over; I wouldn't want to wake her up.

_The only people I know in my floor are; Uriah and Tobias_

Uriah is three doors away, that is about 6 steps. Tobias is 2 doors away, that is about 4 steps.

_And Tobias wins. _

He's 409 A, and I'm 408 B. I suddenly doubt that this was a random arrangement.

I faintly remember him telling me that he keeps a spare key (for me) on top of the door frame where it is hung on a hook to keep from falling.

The door frame is too high up, and my short legs can't manage. I probably look retarded jumping up and down in front of my boyfriend's room at 4 in the morning wearing my pajamas.

After what seemed like a cardio workout, I finally reached the top part and was able to get the key down. It falls to the floor with a loud clatter, the metal hitting the pavement. Thankfully, no one is awoken from the noise.

Quietly, I insert the key into the key hole of the door knob, I'm not kidding when I say that this lock has a serious problem. This was the same thing we encountered the night of Uriah's party. I try a few more times and it finally unlocks.

I stealthily enter his room and the words 'fear God alone' greet me. So many memories surging back all at once, I have to stop and take a breath. His bed is not too far away.

He looks peaceful, _kind_, almost. His breathing is even, _good_, I think he's not having any nightmares. I'm glad for that. For a slight moment, I just stand there and watch him.

How could anyone ever love me? How could _he_ ever love me? I'm nothing. I'm not beautiful, I have no power, no authority. Nothing. Sure, I came first in initiation but other than that, my line of assets doesn't go very long. But even so, someone like _him_ could even notice me, talk to me, _like _me. What more… to _love_ me.

Wasn't it too fast that I fell for him, and that he fell for me? How could I tell that he really _does_ love me, for all I know, he might just be 'using' me to get over Red.

But now she's here, and Tobias still remains with me. So that might at least prove something; that maybe, just maybe he might really, _truly_, feel something for me.

I tip-toe my way over to his bed, and carefully – trying as much as I can to not wake him up – slide underneath the bed sheets, and wrap my arm around him, my hand just slightly above his stomach.

I focus on how his stomach inflate and deflate every time he breathes the rhythm is comforting, but I still can't sleep. _The coffee works_. I'm not sure if I should consider this a good thing or not. But either way, I'm glad to know it works.

I use my free hand to trace lazy patterns on his back, up and down left and right, forming lazy heart patterns small and big, swirls and circles. If I were using an actual pen writing on his back, I'm sure I would have most probably colored his whole back.

His breathing picks up pace and slows back down, he starts tossing, and quietly turns.

He now faces me, his lips slightly parted. He must be dreaming, although I'm sure it wouldn't be a nightmare.

His eyes slightly open the left first and then the right. He rubs them, clearly not believing what he's seeing, I can't blame him. If I were to wake up and find someone unexpected in my bed I'd rub my eyes too to see if I'm dreaming.

"tr-sh?" he asks, voice gurgled from sleep.

"hi" I say casually, I want to tell him all about my dream, about my encounter with Red. _Everything_.

The only thing stopping me is; I'm afraid he might say it's all real, that he really 'loves' her more than me. I don't think I'm ready for that just yet.

"hey" he yawns, and once he realizes that I _really _am here. Concern etches in his face "what's wrong?"

I giggle quietly, mostly to myself, he looks funny when he just woke up and is concerned, almost as if he was talking in his dream "i got locked out"

"hmmm" he thinks, and laughs a quiet laugh "that happened to me, on my first night too".

_Of course it did_, I couldn't imagine, Tobias wasn't really the forgetful type. But I'd like to see, nonetheless, him standing outside his door cursing to himself for forgetting his keys.

"why were you outside in the first place?" he questions

"I was hungry so I went out to eat" I leave out the part where I had a nightmare and the 'talk' Red and I had.

"you had a nightmare didn't you?" how does he know? I didn't show any signs of it, I mean, I didn't cry so my eyes aren't red, I, I didn't – there's no signs!

He must've seen my reaction because he further explains himself for the assumption "I just thought so, you wouldn't wake up in the first place just because of hunger, well, that is, unless you haven't eaten the whole day"

I just simply nod

"wanna talk about it?" he reaches up to touch the side of my face, bringing his finger to the corner of my lip, tracing my jaw line, and eventually tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. Every contact he makes with my skin sends bolts of electricity.

I have a silent war with myself. Should I tell him should I not, would he be mad? _No._ he is not like that. If I tell him, there is a fifty percent chance he'll tell me it's true, and another fifty percent chance that it is not. _Tris you are so indecisive_.

"you don't have to tell me" he kisses the top of my forehead. Again, I am awestruck by his capability to understand me so well.

I nod and kiss his chest. He brings me closer to him, having my head rest upon his shoulder.

Not long after, he falls back to sleep, going to dream land and leaving me in reality world. No matter how hard I try, sleep won't welcome me tonight.

So instead, I marvel at his beauty. I take in every detail of him, so that if the day comes I will have to let go, at least I have the memories to hold on to. I kiss his collarbone ever so slightly; afraid that I might wake him up, the smell of him rejuvenates me, his musky scent mixed with soap and detergent.

Time flies by quicker than expected, and before I know it; it's already morning. However, Tobias doesn't show any signs of waking up just yet, so I decide to wait for him to wake, instead of pouring cold water on him unlike what Christina did to me – and I did to her. Which, I have now come to realize was very childish indeed.

His eyelids start moving, his breathing picks up an unsteady beat and his muscles start flexing. He's either about to wake up or is having a terrible nightmare. Although, by the way he starts opening his eyes slightly peeking around the room, I can tell he's about to wake up – but doesn't want to either way.

"wake up sleepyhead" I whisper in his ear.

He groans and rolls away from me, covering his head with the pillow.

I climb on top of him and straddle his back, "c'mon Tobias, wake up" I shake his shoulders slightly. I know he's awake; he just doesn't want to stand, _typical_. This is like Caleb all over again, my stomach churns in the thought of him. I wonder how he's doing.

"go away" he groans half-heartedly, I know he doesn't mean it.

I laugh at his childish attempt to stay in bed. "come on lazy ass! It's time for breakfast"

He rolls, me still on his back, sending me toppling down the bed landing on the floor. He brings his head up to see the ruckus I made, and I earn a laugh from him.

I must look silly, here on his floor with messed up hair. I blow a strand of hair that has fallen on my face, it suspends in air for about a minute longer than falls back down to my face. He laughs even harder.

"ow" I say rubbing my butt, it in fact hurt from the land, considering I don't really have that much meat in my ass to land on. He just laughs even more. I send half-hearted glares his way, once he cools down he reaches a hand out to help me up, but two can play this game…

Just when he thought I was going to be pulled up into bed, I tug on his arm as _hard_ as I can and he comes tumbling down the floor.

The look on his face is _priceless_.

He _did not see _that coming! I double over from laughing, I'm laughing so hard there's no sound coming from my mouth. It's as if I'm wincing in pain, but in fact I'm laughing so hard I do feel in pain. I wipe away a tear that has come out from the laughing.

"I will get you for that" he uses his Instructor Four's voice on me, and his face is masked with seriousness, however, his eyes show off everything.

"sure… now get up cause I want to go eat some cake" I say getting up from the floor.

But before I can even take another step, he clutches my ankle making me dive unto the floor. He hovers on top of me and gathers both my hands on top of my head, and locks it into position there. _Uh oh_, I don't like that look in his eyes. I try to wiggle out of his grip but I'm locked in place.

His free hand starts tickling me, tickling me like there's no tomorrow. I giggle at first; still trying to wiggle away, but it's no luck. I start laughing hard, _very hard_, so hard that I can no longer breathe. He tickles me even harder, going to my waist up my stomach to my neck, _why do I have to be ticklish everywhere?!_

"Ms. Prior, I believe it is time that you apologize" he tries to remain serious but I know he's trying to bite back his laughter, I can tell I'm very red right now.

"never" I reply in between laughs.

"very well then" he tickles me even harder, I scream trying to get away from his grip.

I can't take it anymore… I can't… _breathe_. "i… i- TOBIAS!" I scream at him, "I'm SORRY"

He abruptly stops and stares into my eyes, those blue things taking me whole. He smiles and brings his lips to mine, they're soft, warm, and very _inviting_. My hands travel along his back, feeling every muscle, every now and then my fingers would come across a scar his father probably inflicted on him, I would involuntarily wince. His hands rise from the side of my waist up to my shoulder brushing away the hair that has made its way there. He slowly pulls away only to start kissing my neck planting soft kisses down to my collarbone, a moan escapes me as he starts nibbling on my ear. I cup his face and bring his lips back to mine, his hands travel back down to the hem of my shirt and starts lifting it up slowly.

_No- _my inner conscience says. _Shut up_.

I bring my hands up allowing him to take it off, I am _brave_. I'm _not_ scared, I am not scared. I am _not afraid _to be with him. Soon, my shirt is off and I am suddenly aware of how far we've went. And a thought strikes my head;

_He doesn't know about my fear of Intimacy_

"Tobias" I moan into his mouth, I slowly, painfully, unwillingly pull away from him. "we have to stop".

He looks at me, lust disappearing from his eyes, they are not pained or hurt, but understanding, he understands _what_ I mean, I am thankful for that.

Just then there is a knock on the door.

Someone's head peeps in through it. "Four?" the voice asks.

Tobias and I jump away from each other, I wrestle my shirt on and Tobias fixes himself just before our unexpected visitor comes in. He looks at us questioningly. "Max wants everyone in the Pit in 10 minutes, especially _you,_ Four" he directs at Tobias and he nods. His face is blank showing no emotion.

The unidentified man leaves us and we're covered in a deathly silence.

"I should probably go and get changed" I tell him breaking the silence. He smiles and nods my way, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you later" he says just before I'm fully out the door.

I'm still wearing my PJs, shiz, and My door is still locked. I can't go down now to the key keeper in the Pit wearing my night clothes. _Christina!_ walking to Christina's room seems to take forever, or perhaps I'm terribly slow at walking. Thankfully, not a lot of people are out in the halls to see me like this only a few. And most of them are too groggy, to notice me at all.

Once I arrive I Chris' door, I knock four times; it's the code we made to know if it were one of us who were knocking. She opens right away already dressed.

"TRIS" she squeals in delight

I draw patterns on the floor with the tip of my toe. "you see, I kinda got locked out of my room last night and…"

She seems to read what I'm trying to say, and she crosses her arms in front of her chest, raising an eyebrow at me. "I'll lend you my clothes, in one deathly condition"

_Don't agree, you don't even know what it is_

"sure" I say. She squeals once more and pulls my arm inside of her apartment, shutting the door tight once we're inside.

"I'm picking whatever you'll wear, and you _have_ to wear it. No '_buts_'!" she warns. I have no choice, I already agreed to her master plan. I can only imagine what she'll make me wear.

She goes into her room, which I can see from the living room, is scattered with clothes, how does she find anything in this mess. She comes out a moment later holding out a dark brown, sleeveless, halter, dress. I groan inside. I get it from her and enter the powder room to change.

Once I get out, without even looking at me, she pulls my arm and brings me in front of her dresser which has a mirror on it, and a makeshift table with multiple products I cannot name, nor would want to know.

After, like, _forever_ – this by the way was only 4 minutes wasted of my precious life. She is finally finished; she had given my eyes a slight smoky glow, where it's dark near the eyelids and getting lighter as it goes out into my brow. It makes my light blue eyes glow.

"thank you" I give her a big hug which I had been fond with doing to her lately, she hugs me back. "now, we have to go! Max expects us in the Pit within 10 minutes" I tell her.

We scurry down into the pit where the rest of the dauntless members are standing. Christina and I part ways once we make it in the crowd, her looking for Will and me looking for Tobias, once I've found him I wrap my arms tightly around his waist and take in his smell.

"you look beautiful" he says breathlessly. I can feel all the blood in my body gravitating its way to my cheek.

"thank you"

Someone taps at the microphone on the center of the Pit. I look to see Max standing behind it, and beside him stands Red with her beautiful features bringing down my self-esteem. She now wears a light shade of blue around her eyes, making her even more striking than before.

"may I have all your attention please" Max says to silence the crowd, it takes a few tries until finally we are all silent. "thank you for coming to this gathering, I'd like to make a few announcements" he looks to us and then to Red. "first and foremost, our fellow Dauntless Red is back!" he shouts into the amplifier with such force it makes an earsplitting sound, however it is accompanied by whoops and cheers of delight.

Red smiles to the crowd, flashing her perfectly white teeth. Max explains what happened to Red leaving out the part where they gave up on her when they couldn't reach her. I silently chuckle. _Pathetic_.

"we have decided that it is best we leave out any life-threatening aspects of Red's training, therefore she will stay, in our very own, compound for the rest of her training, I would like to ask all to support, and treat her like she already _is _a dauntless leader"

there are simultaneous nods of agreement , other than that no one shows any signs of disagreement.

"secondly, our new batch of dauntless will pick the job of their choice within a week, the order of choosing, as you all know, will be based on their rank during initiation" I still am not so sure whether or not I'd like to be a dauntless leader. However, I have my mind set on changing a few things here. Dauntless deserves good government, and no one will listen to a little girl.

"last and not the least, there will be a group of candor and erudite coming to the compound for an article about dauntless" groans break out from the crowd, others roll their eyes. It is obvious we are not fond of Candor and Erudite. "yes, yes, I know, we do not want them here, but this observation is necessary, and for what reason; I do not know, however, I expect all to treat them as guests and to behave in their best"

there are snickers floating around, perhaps, mischievous ideas towards our guests. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if one goes out of their quarters with blue hair, I'm definitely informing either Uriah or Zeke about that one.

"understood?" Max clarifies after the snickering has settled. 'yes' and 'uh huh' are said all around. "Good" and with that he climbs off the stage, as the crowd disperse into different directions. Red, however, sits at the end as she fumbles with the wires where the microphone is connected to.

Tobias links his hands Kim mine and leades me away but abruptly stops as someone calls his name.

Max jogs up to us, and stops in front of Tobias, Tobias remains indifferent as if having a dauntless leader run up to you is something he sees in a daily basis.

"Four" Max greets

"Max" Four returns, Max however does not acknowledge my presence however it doesn't bother me as much.

"I know that initiation has just ended and you need your much deserved rest, but you see we have a shortage on our staff of trainers and-" he breathes in "we need the best"

"get to the point Max" Four seethes.

to other dauntless this may seem like any other Leader-Member conversation, but in my perspective it seems as though, Tobias is the one calling the shots and Max just happens to be there to approve it.

"very well then" Max says, he breathes once more.

"Four, you will be Red's instructor for the rest of her training"

**ooooohhh! Wonder what'll happen next... Any ideas? people are telling me to not separate Tris and Four, hmmm should I? **

**No one was able to guess my name (nice try though FourEvah786), I'll give you a clue... It's similar to the name of a side kick of a hero who likes bats. Haha!**

**xoxo**

**-R**


	9. Chapter 9

**At first I did this in Four's POV, then changed it into Red's POV, but it eventually became 3rd person because I needed both their thoughts. Hope ya'll like it! R&R**

** Thank you to; 123XYZt, NashPriorEaton, Pansycake, ImJustAwesome, FourEvah786, Haley, TrisKatnissEaton, Enchantelle, PinkPinkblue, alexloveslena, Guest, TheOneandOnly007, nycgirl166, Enchantelle, , and eaton-prior for either reviewing following or favoriting the story :)**

**I do not own Divergent nor Insurgent.**

**3rd Person **

Red holds the gun in front of her. It feels cold against her touch, she hasn't gotten into terms with guns yet, however, she manages to handle it splendidly.

She breathes in, holds, points at the center, breathes out and shoots. It hits dead center, and not a hair out of place.

Something Four has taught her.

Four lays a hand on her shoulder, it's the first initial contact they've made since training started. Red's instincts tell her to shove it off, or pull away, but her being used to physical contact with him makes her instincts subside.

"That's all, I believe it's time for lunch" he says behind her. His warm breath sending butterflies into her stomach.

He is eager to get away, and Red knows this. Four may think she is not aware of how he feels, or that he's hiding very well, but truth be told she can read him like an open book. It _prickles_ in her chest how she knows him so well up to this day.

Red simply nods, nothing more than a curtsy.

She walks away from him, but inside what she wants to do is walk closer and closer until space no longer exists between them. Four knows, however, as he feels the urge to have her near as well, that no matter how much space they diminish;There will always be a wall between them. _Time_ has torn them apart, pulling them away.

_They both know this_

She leaves the training room, but Four remains. The world feels heavier to Four, making him drop to the ground. He sits beside the table with guns and other weapons he has come to mastered. He brings his hands up to his face and yells in frustration.

It's been a year, a _year_ since he last _saw_ Red, a year since he last _spoke_ to her, a year since he last _touched_ her. He aches, it burns and tortures him. He wants to hold her in his arms to plant his lips unto her hair. He _needs_ her to be close, but the distance they have is forcing him to back away.

It's been _months_ since he heard of her death. It's been months since his mourning had started. It's been months since he thought he'd simply _end_ his life to save him from the grief and pain.

But it has only been weeks since he met _Tris_, it's been weeks since he first held her. It's been weeks since he _forgot_ the pain. It's been weeks since he was ever truly _happy_.

Tris gave him a _start_, she gave him a _reason_, a _purpose_ to be alive and to be free. Four knows that he at least owes it to Tris to return the happiness she has blossomed within him. He will stand and fight until his last breath to make sure that Tris will remain intact. He _will_ be strong for her.

Red is his _past_, Tris is his present and future.

Nothing can change that- that is a promise he will make to himself. Tris is today, Red was yesterday. To get to tomorrow, he must forget what happened before and focus and what is happening now. _Tris_.

But all this- is easier said than done.

Being around Red is tearing him apart, slowly turning him into shreds. He will fight, he will fight for Tris.

He heads out, but before he is fully out of the training room, he takes a good look around, this is the place that gave _birth_ to who he is today, and this will be the place where he will be _burnt_ into ashes.

The lights turn of the moment his hand reaches for the switch and heads out. He walks with caution, fixing himself after each step. No one can see him broken. Not even Tris.

* * *

"Hey Four!" Someone yells behind him. Four instinctively turns around to see who it is, and his face lights up quite a bit in the recognition, Zeke.

"Wait up!" Zeke replies out of breath running to his side. Four stops in his tracks and waits for his friend.

Once Zeke reaches his side, he stops and plants his hands on his knees, his chest is heaving, he must have been running. Once he calms down, they walk to the Pit together. Making small talk, nothing important in particular. They tried to avoid Red in the topics as much as possible - and for that Four is grateful.

Zeke and Four sit along with their usual friends, Tris one of them. Four and Tris interlock fingers underneath the table, and that's all the words they need from each other.

No one asks about Red or any topics about her, almost as if she did not exist. For this, Four is skeptical, but lets it pass quick. Even Tris tries to avoid the subject. Although he knows that his friends cannot tell how he is feeling, he is aware that they have a clue, and acts upon their assumptions. For once; Four is grateful.

The conversations seem to flow by, He doesn't mind them much, keeping his mind to himself. Tris feels his unsteady state, and kisses his cheek lightly. He returns a thoughtful smile.

There is a figure going up into the glass building, and no one else but Four notices it, he has _trained_ himself before to notice her even in the farthest distances. The way that wavy blonde hair falls as she wobbles up the building. Her slender form making its way through the shadows.

Four has a hunch on what she is going to do, because he himself has been doing it for as long as he can remember.

"I just remembered, I have things undone in the Control Room" He says, as he stands up from his seat. "I'll catch you guys later"

Everyone seems to dismiss him without any doubt about his sudden disappearance but Tris does otherwise, she knows that he has been excused from the control room, since training Red was meant to be his top priority. Tris has the urge to ask or even follow him, but she knows that to love someone you must learn to _trust_ them first. So she lets him go, without another word.

Four walks up to the glass building, breathing hard as he goes up. Heights are something he fears he will never get over. But forces himself either way to put it aside. He stealthily follows behind Red into the glass building, making sure he remains unheard.

Red slips into an enormous room, Four knows far too well as the Fear landscape room. His theory has now been proven; Red is going through her fear landscape. But now that he's here and he has no awareness or whatsoever of what he will do _next_, he makes a bold move.

He barges inside, the sudden opening of the doors are the only noise that could be heard in the silent room.

Outside, Red seems indifferent to his presence. Though inside, her heart threatens to rip out of her chest from beating so fast. Her palms are sweaty and she can't manage a word.

However, she lets her expression remain unconcerned.

"Yes?" Her voice echoes. She tries to make herself seem higher, more in control, rather than broken and torn apart.

But Four sees through her, like he has always seen through her, they haven't changed. Their pride and arrogance are still the problem between them, yet it is what gravitates them closer to each other.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, using every ounce of seriousness he could muster.

"I should ask you the same thing"

Four struggles for an excuse, his mind seems to betray him now when he needs it to work the most. No words slip out, only the opening and closing of his mouth from the uncertainty he feels.

Red reads his expression, as much as she likes proving him wrong, this state of him sends shivers down her spine. She has never seen him so vulnerable, she doesn't want to see him like it for too long either.

In the midst of the awkwardness that surrounds both of them, Red brings the courage to break it apart out of desperation.

She busies herself with the syringe, and trying to fix up the monitors having herself ready for the simulation. Without turning around, she speaks to Four;

"I'm going through my fear landscape" she replies smoothly, her hands fumbling with the keyboard. "Now, either you'd like to stand there and watch or would you rather join me"

The moment her words slip out her mouth she curses at herself for the impending embarrassment she will encounter with him, however, is still hopeful that he will agree. Because she has longed to have him know her; fully know her. She is afraid, of the repercussions however; if he will accept her or will be uninterested of her true being.

She knows he found someone, she knows he's in love with another girl. She knows that she is no longer important in his life. She knows that she is nothing but a blur from the past. But with all this that Red knows, she refuses to believe them, she refuses to give up: she wants him to tell her she's wrong.

She knows that won't happen

Four, on the other hand, wants - so badly - to agree, to accept her invitation. Although, his mind tells him that he should decline. For her sake and his, they will never get back together, they are nothing but two pieces of shattered glass too broken apart to be glued together.

_Hopeless_

But his selfish side, the side that is desperate and wanting, he wants to know, he wants to know if he still cares for her even though he knows the answer. He wants to know if she feels the same way, so he does what he knows he shouldn't do;

"I'd rather agree to the latter proposition" he voices out.

This surprises both Four and Red, for neither of them were expecting him to agree. Red is blown out of her tracks with the monitor in front of her, but goes back to afterwards.

"Very well then"

She punches in a few codes, to make sure that right after her fear landscape is over, it is deleted from the system and could never be traced back again. Something, Four taught her yet again.

She moves unto the two reclining chairs in the middle of the room bringing the two syringes in hand, Four hesitates for a moment but follows afterwards.

There is an unspoken agreement between them, Four will inject her, and she will inject him. Red hands him one of the syringes and she starts to pierce the needle into him. She first rubs the are of his neck with antiseptic wipes. She takes rather extra long rubbing it, her eyes remained fastened on his as doing so. She then punctures the needle unto his neck, he barely flinches.

Four now stands, to do the same to Red. She hands him another set of antiseptic wipes; but like Red he seems to take a little long rubbing her neck, though he prefers not to make eye contact. He eventually inserts the needle.

He makes his way back to his chair and then they are surrounded with black.

A woman appears

Four looks for Red, and sees her standing beside the woman. The woman grabs her at the elbow and throws her forward causing her to stumble.

Four had ached to help her get up, to come to her aid, but he knew better. Red could take care of herself, fight any battle, win any war.

"You low-life, worthless, gold-digging slut!" The woman screamed "you will never be my daughter, I will never love you, you are _nothing_ to me"

This should've caused Red to stumble, to fall, to break but she stood up, straightened her back and spoke with such ferocious force, "and you, were _never_ my mother"

Four knew what this fear was; **fear of never being loved.**

She has told him before that the mother she had in abnegation was not her real one, and she treated Red like she was nothing but a piece of trash loitering around the faction.

They are yet surrounded by darkness.

This time Red encounters Red. Four is unaware of which is the real one.

"No one cares, Red, no one will _ever_ care" the simulation Red says "even if you change for them, they can _never_ accept you"

"I _don't _care anymore, I don't need them" the real Red replies coldly.

This is Red's** fear of not being accepted.**

Out of Reflex: Four walks over to Red and plants a hand on her back, She knows he's doing nothing more than being friendly, but she can't help but hope it would be something different.

Simulation Red disappears, and they are brought into the Abnegation sector. A crowd forms around Red, a swarm of Grey robes mashing together as one. They carry torches;

One by one they throw them to her, letting the fire turn her skin into amber, her clothes falling to ashes.

Four cannot tolerate the burning skin, it pains him to watch her burn, to see her so weak, the one who gave him strength cannot muster enough for herself.

He quickly walks over to help her, to do _anything _for that matter just so he can ease the pain.

Red raises a hand and signals him to stop.

Four retreats, Red can do this, she _will_ do this. He is mesmerized by those light blue eyes that are so full of strength, power, and bravery staring into his own.

"You may have broken me before, taken away all that I am, but I know who I am today, and you can _never_ break me again" She stands, and brushes the remaining ash, as the fire subsides.

Red is not afraid of fire, **she's afraid of loosing herself.**

The people disappeared and yet again Red and Four are left in darkness.

"Are you okay?" He asks

Red nods

She cannot think of any other responses. Her fears have changed so she has no control over the order. Red is not divergent, but she can get out of a simulation fast, and is aware in it, however that is because she has trained herself to do so.

A light appears, it seems to be blocked by a half closed door. Four and Red walks over to the door and pulls it open, once they enter, they both realize it's the training room.

They look at each other questioningly, Red has never had this fear, and Four has never heard of it.

Simulation Four walks through the door, stomping at every step. A furious glare plastered on his face.

Meanwhile, the real Four bites back a laugh, because the way simulation Four is walking and looking, to the real Four he looks awfully gay.

"What do you call that Red?! The oldest person alive can punch better than you. What the hell was that?! You are a _disgrace_ to Abnegation, to dauntless, to _all_ factions!" He screams at her, his voice an ear-splitting sound

"You are a disgrace to _me" _he whispers. "I expected more" he lifts his hands up and touches her cheek lightly "I thought you loved me"

All of the Real Four's laughter has disappeared. He knows where this is going, and he doesn't want to see it. But he has no choice, he agreed to do this, and he must stand up to his word.

Red, however, has completely forgotten the fact that they are in a simulation, or the fact that the real Four is simply behind her and can hear every word she says.

"I did, I-I _do_" she whispers

The two Fours' eyes widen in shock. The real Four, did not know that she still had feelings for him, nor did he ever imagine her to be so open about it.

Simulation Four walks towards Red, closing the distance within two long strides.

"Then, why did you leave?" The real Four questions quietly to himself.

"Well I _don't_, I never did, and I will _never _love you again!" Simulation Four screams directly at her face, then turns around to leave fast pacing out the door.

Red falls to the ground and crouches into a ball, she screams in frustration tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She rocks herself back and fourth on the floor, and soon they are back inside the Fear Landscape room.

Red sits up from the chair, her eyes red and glossy, real tears threatening to flow. Four is reluctant to hug her, to comfort her, to soothe her, to ease the pain, to do a_nything._

But he's glued to the chair, and his mind has lost all control over his body. Just when he is about to enfold Red in an embrace;

She runs away, scooting across the room and out the door.

"_she still loves me_" Four said to himself.

**Please don't kill me, okay, so everyone does not want Tris and Tobias separated, as in; EVERYONE. They won't (or will they?); but the three of them will go through hell first. Muwahahaha**

**My name is Robin, you all got that right!: ImJustAwesome, FourEvah786 (thank you :) although I do get teased a lot for my name, your welcome), Haley, TrisKatnissEaton, Alexloveslena (I was a dead cheerleader for Halloween, thank you) TheOneandOnly007 (thank you for reviewing on every chapter!)**

**i don't particularly like my name though, I get teased about it a lot, like; "Hey Robin, where's batman" or "Robin, how's Ted?" **

**Do you guys get teased with your names?**

**xoxo**

**-R**


	10. Chapter 10

**Don't kill me. Please, do not kill me. This is very short and I am very sorry. School! I blame school; with all the homeworks and projects. Someone should make a law that students should only be given homeworks once a week. Yes, that would be a very nice law. R&R**

**THANK YOU TO: ****Eye of Nyx, CandorOrDauntless, TheOneandOnly007, kassoug4, Tris Prior Tobias Eaton, AuthorRebekka, Ashoka Tano1, SyrezeDF for either favoriting or following!**

**THANK YOU TO: TheOneandOnly007 (no! I wouldn't think that, thank yo. Thank you. thank you. Thank you. You're so nice!)****CrazyAnnoying (at least you got used to it :) That's a great Idea)****kassoug4 (thank you, I'll try *does evil laugh* :))****Tris Prior Tobias Eaton (Thank you :) that's such a sweet idea! OMG. I like it!) TrisKatnissEaton (it just means they don't deserve saying your name if they can't pronounce it right! Haha. :)Let your haters be your motivators! I'm sure you have an awesome name) heroherondaletotherescue (IKR, they are perfect! But Red is like hmmmmmm, very important. Haha! So she'll be around for a while) Ashoka Tano1 (don't die! OMG! Breathe. Breathe. Breathe) Red the Poophead (thank you! I wish I had a sister. Haha) ImJustAwesome (Timber is not a bad name! It's really unique :) ****you should be happy. Haha! I have a friend who's named "south" c'mon that's just weird)**

**I do not own. Blah Blah Blah.  
**  
Red's POV

3 years ago

"We'll be picking in a year" he whispers quietly, if our voices grow any louder, we'd be caught.

"I know, will you stay?" It's a stupid question, I just had to ask. I want him to, but knowing his father would be here I'd think otherwise.

"No" he sternly replies, when he sees my expression, his features change and soften. "Come with me"

I want to. But I know he'll pick dauntless. I want Erudite.

"I was thinking of Erudite" reading was something I found rather fun, and exciting while Tobias liked watching trains, I spent my time reading books. "But, I mean, it's okay, you could always go to Dauntless"

"Who said about going to dauntless?" He questions.

"I just figured that, you might, want to, uhm, you know, go to dauntless"

He laughs, whenever he expresses any signs of joy. I'd come to think that he's only 16, and yet he seems to have gone through a lot more. His smile, laughter, everything, it's what anchors him. It keeps him here, it keeps him alive.

" I'm not going anywhere without you" I never knew, one smile could melt me, but then again, I never knew anyone could /love me. That is, until Tobias came.

"I'll never leave" he says.

* * *

Crying won't do any good, I'll lose more body fluid. In fact, I should cry more in that way if I lose fifteen percent of my body fluid then I'd die. Perfect.

I fought off the simulation to get back to him, I pulled myself out, survived the wilderness, I did _everything_. Why didn't he see that? He used to _know_me so well.

A hysterical sound erupts from my lips, something I never thought I could muster. I love him, I _still_do, I always have.

Footsteps near me, but before I can fix myself. The little figure has already witnessed the scene in front of her.

"Red?" Tris asks. Talk. I forgot how to talk, my lips are glued, no power of mine are strong enough to have them open, they're stuck together tight. I form an even smaller ball, and cry unto my knees, covering my face with my arms. If I can't stop my crying, I could at least hide it.

Tris comes nearer, her small physique squatting next to me. I appreciate the friendly gesture, however, I'd prefer to be alone.

I am alone.

"Come" she finally says, after just intently staring at me. "Let's get a drink"

I'm hesitant, but I follow anyways

* * *

Tris' POV

"I'll get one piña Colada" I tell the bartender. "And she'll get..."

I let the silence fall, signaling Red to tell him what she wants. "An English Rose, make it a double please" Red announces.

I'm not sure why I invited Red to have a drink with me, all I know is she needs one. Silently, I curse at myself for the nearing awkwardness we'd feel.

"He likes Piña Colada too" she utters. "Four, I mean" as if she needs to clear that out. I'm not entirely sure if she's doing this to boast in my face how they _used_to be so close, or if its just another fact she'd like to share.

Her eyes are bloated and red, obviously been crying, and a lot too. We, well /I picked the most hidden part of the bar knowing she wouldn't want others to see her like this; broken.

"If you're going to ask why I'm like this, don't bother. I wouldn't answer" she chugs down the drink. She definitely plans on getting drunk tonight.

_This will be a very long night._

**I have 2 more stories yeaaaaaaaaaaay. Check 'em out; Shauna's untold story and Bridal Wars (Tris vs Chris). It would mean A LOT! **

**Okay, so, I work best if I have a deadline, what about; you guys can tell me what day of the week you'd like me to update on? Like would it be better if it were on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday etc. **

**QUESTION: what's your most memorable experience with a friend? I WOULD VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IF YOU GUYS ANSWER THIS QUESTION. THANK YOU!**

**AND I NEED YOUR HELP AGAIN. I NEED NAMES, LIKE A GIRL'S NAME PLEASE! **

**Xoxo**

**-R**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm back! I immensely apologize for the previous short chapter. Haha! School got in the way. Anyways, this was not exactly the easiest chappy to do, but I hope you like it anyhow. **

**THANK YOU TO: Jessy, Amity Transfer, kassoug4, mikaylabauer ((****thank you for the name suggestions and for sharing that moment :) I planned on using that experience for the story, however it didn't fit into the plot, I'm sorry. Well, thank you anyways for reading and giving suggestions**))** Guest #1, Lololololololol, SammiDivergentFan ((that's a really good idea :) hmmmmmm.. I'll see what I can do *wink*)), fourtris17 ((****thank you! I appreciate you reading them, haha I'll try****)) Guest #2, Guest #3 ((that's a really ubique idea, and i really like the name Heidi! haha. my friend's name is laura too. thank you so much for the suggestions,. i'll see what i can do with them)) katnisswan15, nycgirl166,**** lauzhdfeild for either Reviewing, favoriting or following :)**

**for the guests, please put a name so I could thank you better not just Guest #1, Guest #3... Etc., haha! :)**

**THANK YOU TO: TheOneandOnly007 for giving me the name... What name that is? You'll have to find out :)**

* * *

_In the end when you lose someone, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that someone you cared for used to be._

* * *

**TRIS' POV**

She's been sulking for quite some time now, I've never exactly encountered a drunken individual before, and that is, in Abnegation drinking for your own pleasure is self-indulgent therefore it is forbidden. However, seeing it happening before my very own eyes makes me not want to drink at all. "Red" I pat her shoulder lightly, "you should get some rest" Her head remains buried underneath the covers of her arms. "would you want me to take you back to your apartment?"

She lifts her head up and stares blankly at me, taking a while to understand what I just said. Red blotches covers her face, and note, it's unfair she's still extremely pretty given the situation. "you know what I _want_ Tris?" she starts of quietly, taking a sip from her tequila.

"I want _him_ back" her chuckle is mixed with a gurgling sound which I have come to discover as vomit. She pukes in the bowl given to her by the bartender a few hours ago. He said that she'll need it soon. _He was right_. She takes the wipes and cleans herself off, but takes a drink again with the alcohol, this will not end nice. "it's funny, I'm telling _you_ I want him back, but _you're_ the one who _took_ him"

_I'm sorry._ Stop that! I am not sorry. "Maybe it's best that you go home" I help pull her up by her arm, but she pulls away from my grip as soon as I even touched her.

"He was my best friend, no scratch that, he was my _only_ friend" she's breaking, she will break soon and I will see it with my own eyes. Should I be happy that I will see Red break? "I have no one else Tris, you won't know how that feels" _I think I do._

"you don't know me" I snap defensively at her. "you know _nothing_ about me"

"and you don't know _me!_" Red seethes. "I have no one, no one left to care. Everyone who has a responsibility to care for me, has left, they're all _gone_." I should feel sorry fro her, but I don't. maybe they had a reason for leaving, in fact I'd like to leave too, but something inside me tells me that the best thing to do right now is to stay and listen to her sulk.

"why?" is the single sentence question I asked her. "why'd they leave?"

"if I knew, then I wouldn't be here right now" I am not particularly sure if what she meant by 'here' was here with me, or 'here' as in where she is now in her life. "all I know is that they left, and that I am alone, completely and utterly _alone_"

She chugs down the remaining components of the tequila bottle that was once full a few moments ago. "He was always good at everything you know, even if he didn't show it"

I clasp my hands together and place my head on top of them, I stare at her intently. Why have I never noticed her before in Abnegation?

"when we would be asked to make projects in school, Tob – I mean Four would always excel in art." She laughs, "but of course he wouldn't take credit for the work, he would always say that it wasn't his own, but someone else's" that would be very typical, since we were trained to not attract any attention to ourselves, but somehow I can't help but be frustrated that people did not see his true talent.

"once, we had a school play. It was theatre class and Four was casted as Prince charming" I remember that play, I came to watch it with Caleb, but I don't remember what happened or if Tobias was the one playing the lead role. "all the girls were thrilled to be the princess knowing _he_ was playing their Prince, that would be so if he didn't back out" deep inside I couldn't stop the growing jealousy burning, at the fact that she was there with him for so long and I only come in now.

She knows him so well, and I can't even trust him enough to let him go into my fear landscape.

"Red, you really need to get going, you and I still have things to be done tomo –"

"He would cry at nights too" she starts cutting me off. "he wouldn't sleep, for I think you know the reason as to why that is" _yes, I do_. "at times, I want to take the pain away, but I can't. because even my _own_ pain is eating me alive from the inside out"

I know how it feels like to have someone you love go through so much, and knowing you couldn't do anything about it but sit here and watch. It's the worst kind of pain, knowing you can't do anything.

"Red?" a man asks behind me. Red's eyes light up.

I turn around to see a very good-looking man, around Red's age.

"Red!" He pulls her into an embrace. They soon get lost in their own conversation, shutting out the world as they do so, I take this as my cue to leave. In the back corner of my mind, I wonder; should I have left Red all drunk with a guy I have no information of? I believe she can take care of herself.

_I hope._

* * *

**NO ONE'S POV**

Four walks quietly, assessing the day's work and what is to come for tomorrow, and somewhere in his thoughts, they land on Red. She didn't show up during training and he hasn't seen her the whole day, a grumbling and nagging feeling inside tells him that somewhere in the compound Red needs him. However, that thought is easily dismissed and is classified as 'irrelevant'.

As he passes by a dark hallway, he gets a quick glimpse of a couple making-out. he stops, mid-tracks and stares at the two figures dancing in the dark. Something about the way that those long wavy blonde hair sway intrigues him and reminds him a lot of Red.

_Red_

Realization hits him like a lightning bolt. A mental debate forms in his head whether or not he should confront them both. His ethics tells him he has no right to intervene whatsoever with other people's businesses that do not concern him, but his heart tells him otherwise.

Quietly, he walks up to the couple. They take no acknowledgment to his presence but instead continue with their make-out session. "Red?" he inquires.

Her head shoots up, and as surprised as she is she pulls away from the man she was with. "Four, why hello deary, care to join us?" _she's drunk_, He thinks quietly. "we were having a lot of fun" the man nods, not turning his head to Four but continues on kissing Red's collarbone.

This infuriates Four, he pulls him off Red and slams him straight up against the wall. "Red, it's really late" he grabs her by the arm and pulls her away from the man who is now crouched down into a small ball from the pain. He leads her out of the hallway and drags her all the way to her apartment.

She struggles from his grip trying to pull away. "stop!" she cries out. however, Four's hold on her is too strong and she's too drunk to do anything about it. "Four I mean it, stop pulling me it hurts" She may be drunk enough to not form cohesive thoughts, but she's not _that _drunk to not be able to tell what was going on around her

He realizes this, but continues on pulling her. Once they arrive, he swiftly positions the key in the lock and unlocks her apartment. "where'd you get the key?" Red inquires.

"you gave it to me"

She stumbles inside her apartment and plops down on the bed, and looks at Four with childish eyes, annoyed at how he is telling her what to do. "why did you do that?!"Her argument is useless, but she simply wants to let out her anger at him, even if it is for _childish_ reasons.

"do what?" He asks levelly.

"do _that_" she whines. "why did you take me away from him?! We were having so much fun"

"you're drunk and have no regards of what you're doing" he states. Even though that is not the real reason he did so. Four knows that there is a deeper meaning as to why he did what he did, but he wouldn't want to admit that to Red not even to himself.

Red knows he means more than that and she desires to find out, "why do you care?"

"because at the moment Red, you are under my surveillance and responsibility unless you've forgotten" a tear rolls down Red's face which she wipes away quicker than the naked eye could've seen, but Four knows every trick she has therefore have seen the action being done. He longs to touch her face and tell her it'll be alright and that _they_ will be alright, but what assurance can he give to someone when he himself is not sure.

He wants to tell her, but he can't. He wants to fill the spaced between them, but something is pulling him back. He simply _can't._

She groans in frustration, He wouldn't give into admission, Red simply wants to hear him say it, on the other hand he is fighting it, but it's a fight that Four's losing. "That's not true!" she shouts. "tell me _why_ you really did that?"

"I've already told you why I –"

"No! Tell me the _truth_ Four, why did you do that? _Why _do you care?" she stands up, fighting her ground. She is pushing it, she's pushing him, waiting for him to break.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I am your _instructor_, _you _are my _responsibility"_

"Why do you _care?!"_this is becoming a very juvenile fight between them. "why?" she asks more softly, they stare into each other's eyes looking for the answers to the questions they've been asking, but not one will give in. again, Pride and arrogance gets between them.

"What do you want me to say_, Allias_?!" Four screams in frustration, using her real name. "That I _love_ you? Is that what you want me to say?"

_Yes_, Red yells in her mind. That is exactly what she wishes to hear. Those are the three words she's been wanting to hear for the past two years. That's what motivated her to keep moving in the woods when she found no hope of doing so. Those three words were the only things that kept her alive for so long.

"Because I _do_" Four finally whispers silently. "I _always_ have"

Red is stunned into silence, not a single thought or word crosses her mind, only his voice is what she hears.

"And I'm so _tired_ of loving you Allie, I'm so tired" he sternly replies.

"Why?" Red steps forward, closing the space between them, now only inches separate them yet they have never felt so far apart. "_Why_?" she says again landing a hand on his cheek. He does nothing to remove her hand, and nothing to acknowledge it either. Outside, he remains stern and strong, but inside he's breaking into pieces.

"Love is reciprocal; it's not a one-way thing"

"You think I don't love you Tobias?" he looks away not being able to take the intensity of her eyes, looking deep into his. "Look at me" she pulls his face to hers and forces him to face her, he does so without any objection.

"yes" he whispers.

She laughs a quiet laugh. "I've _always_ loved you, I always _will"_

"then why did you leave?!" tears are filling up his eyes and are now threatening to flow freely down his cheeks. "Why Allie?"

"I was forced to I didn't have a choice" she utters, tears are now falling from her.

"everyone has a choice" He inquires stubbornly. "Everyone"

"not me Tobias, I didn't have _one_" she cries out, she pleads for him to understand. "I was forced to leave, they would've hurt you if I didn't"

It's as if the world had a new kind of 'clear' to it, all this time when Four has been thinking that Red intentionally left, it wasn't her intention at all. But in the midst of what she said, he refuses to believe so easily, when for two years he has been thinking otherwise.

A stray tear rolls down his cheek; they stare simply at each others' eyes. A mix of deep sea blue and light sky blue, the _perfect_ combination. Red leans in to kiss him. At first his response is slow and he is not aware of the current happening, but soon he catches up. Her hands snake around his neck.

They are both trembling, both have wanted, both have been desperate for this moment, waiting for so long, mourning for each other's presence. Allias marvels at the contours of his back with the tips of her fingers, oh how long she has been waiting to do that. To Tobias, her lips feel like home, in her arms he feels like himself again, something that hasn't happened to him in so long. In her arms he feels safe, he feels like he belongs.

He starts growing desperate wanting for more, he pushes her up against the wall and deepens the kiss. Allias moans in the immense pleasure she feels having him so close. Four wants this, he's _wanted_ this. But that isn't all, he didn't feel completely lost when Red left, someone else found him.

_Tris_

"I –I have to go" he says out of breath. His heart shatters into a million pieces as he pulls away, the warmth and love he once felt disappearing and evaporating just like that.

"no" Red says out of breath, she realizes that if he leaves tonight, he leaves forever. "stay, please"

"I can't" he shakes his head. Not once has Four felt so much pain, not when his father had beat him, not when Red has left, not when he saw Tris being beaten up in the chasm. No, this kind of pain overpowers all the others. Seeing Red before him, the one who kept him strong and alive when he couldn't, was now breaking into pieces, and he's doing _nothing._

Because he _caused_ it.

He pulls away not being able to take it any longer and rushes out the door, leaving a very _broken_ Red behind.

She screams, and cries her heart out. "you said you'd never leave!"

"I'm sorry" Four whispers, as he runs down the hall.

_Two broken pieces of glass too shattered to be glued together._

* * *

**Red's POV**

9 years ago

He hasn't moved from there. He simply sits and looks out from the window, tears flowing down his cheeks, I've tried waving to get his attention but he doesn't seem to see me, or doesn't _want_ to.

A car pulls up on their driveway, funny, there aren't supposed to be any cars in abnegation.

Someone, a man, comes out of his house and goes inside the car, from the looks of it he must be his father.

When I look back at the window, _he's gone_.

Curiosity should be a trait that we diminish here in abnegation, for it was considered selfish. But it's something I can't take away, it sticks with me wherever I go, it's who I am.

The floorboards squeak and crackle under my step, as I quietly go down the stairs. If my mom wakes up and sees what I'm doing, she'd scream at my face, that is if I'm lucky. If she's in a _bad_ mood, however, I'd probably get hurt.

Cold air kisses my skin as I step outside. I have always loved the night, it seems like no one can see me, no can _know_ me, no one but myself. I feel _free_.

I don't know why I went outside, I had the urge to do it, so I did. Carefully, I walk quietly over to his house. Breaking an entry wouldn't just be breaking morals, it'd be breaking rules, which I'm not, in this case, ready to do.

The house looks quiet and empty, almost lonely. I get lost at my trance when someone scares me.

"It's late, you shouldn't be out" a voice says behind me.

It's the first time we've talked, and this is the nearest we've been. He looks different up close, I used to think his eyes were brown, but clearly they were a dark shade of blue; they're full of hurt and sadness.

"So should you" I reply levelly. _I want to help_ I think silently.

He stares at me blankly, an emotionless facade covering his face. Bumping into me, he walks back into his house. That is before I stop him.

"Wait! I saw what he _did_ to you" I tell him from behind. He stops mid-tracks and turns, fear plastered on his face. "You should tell someone" I quietly add.

Water begins to fill his eyes, but they aren't flowing. He walks back near me. Strong. "No one would believe me, it's my word against his"

_they would believe you_. "I believe you"

Something flickers in his eyes, something I haven't seen before happiness maybe, but it's quickly replaced by fear. "Someone might hear us, you have to go. Please" his eyes are almost pleading, _almost_.

But for the first time in my life, I do as I've been told without another word, I go back into the house the same way I came out.

That night, as I sat near my window, still looking out. I saw something i have never seen before, and thought I never would.

He smiles. He smiles _at_ me, I smile back.

**A/N: oh and if you guys were wondering where I got the name RED, well, I got it from Taylor Swift's album. Haha! *swiftie over here***

**PLEASE PLEASE: check out my other two stories Bridal Conflict (Tris vs Chris) and Shauna's untold story. **

**And also... Leave a Review of what you guys think :)**

**I'M WONDERING HALF CONFUSED: I asked you guys before if you wanted me to separate them, you guys said "NOOOO", now most of you are telling me to break Four and Tris up. Which one will I really do? Haha! Please PM or review any suggestions. **

**XOXO**

**-R**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm sorry it took me longer than a month, or i don't even know how long it was anymore. I hope you all still want to read this, and haven't lost interest yet, for those that have been waiting, I'm really sorry. I HAD A HUGE AUTHOR'S BLOCK, and I am just so. friggin. really, absolutely. sorry. **

**THANK YOU TO: AuthorRebekka, AlliJoy31, kassoug4, Lel Christo, SammiDivergentFan, fourtris17, Guest #1, Idk [thank you for that wonderful suggestion! :)] Guest #2, gina, PRYYD2012, Guest #4, mikaylabauer, Alana Giselle [I agree! :)], Guest #5 [Thank you so much, i'm glad you loving it... and hating it the same time? haha! thank you :)], Guest #6, Guest #7 [i hate them too! Haha :)] Guest #8 [Whoa, that is one very dramatic plot you have there. HAHA i like it! :) thank you], CrazyAnnoying, , Guest #9, Guest #10, Guest #11, Noneofurbusiness [yes I am], cuzican, katnissswan15, Guest #12 [I know, i'm really sorry], The Brave, DauntlessShadowhunterTribute , Fourtris17, Mabel Gumdrops, and heatherechelon for either reviewing, favoriting or following. **

**I OWN NOTHING BUT MY DOG. **

A buzzing sound of some sort rings and I jolt awake. Today is the day I pick the job I'll be doing for the rest of my time in Dauntless, today is when I decide on _who_ I want to be. I roll to my side and bump into something amazingly soft and warm like it can let me cumber into it and fall into its safe arms. _Tobias. _I don't remember him being here when I went to sleep; then again it's not like care either.

There's something about how when people are asleep they seem so peaceful, so unlike themselves.

I slowly untangle his arms around me and lay them on his sides, careful not to wake him up. He's been working too much, he needs the rest. I plant kisses on his forehead, his cheek, the tip of his nose, his eyelids and finally his lips, he just tastes so good, so welcoming, so safe and warm.

I get up, the bed groaning in response as the weight is lifted. I take one last look at his peaceful state and somehow wish I could capture this moment, put it in my pocket, and have it to look at forever. Then I leave.

* * *

On the way to the glass building where we will be signing up, I bump into someone I haven't seen in a while, I don't see often, I've only seen so recently, _Red._ Her eyes are bloated and red; she seems restless as if she hadn't slept all night. Her once calculated, powerful stature is now slacked and lagging.

"Oh – I'm, I – I didn't see you, I'm sorry." I stutter and walks past her but she grabs my by the elbows and drags me back in front of her with such power I never knew she had.

"Have you seen Four?"

Her eyes are tired but her tone is sharp, "No." _lie_, I don't feel like I need to tell her he's in _my_ apartment right now. "Why?"

She searches my face, her eyes scanning me and reading everything, so many things that it terrifies me. She opens her mouth but closes it again, then opens it once more. "If you see him, tell him I won't be going to training today."

I nod.

Red looks at me once more and when she's sure that I will do what she'd ask, she pivots on her heels and leaves me at her wake, there's something with her I haven't seen since I came here, and it scares me just the tiniest bit.

* * *

Christina is a non-stop babbling machine; her mouth never ceases to understand the true meaning of _silence._ The whole wait here, she's been talking, to everyone all ten of the initiates, all eight except for me and Peter. I stay with her group though, leaving Peter out on the corner. I can feel him undressing me with his eyes, it's disgusting, infuriating, and it fills me with so much anger, but I don't show it, I refuse to show anything to him.

So even if I don't want to, I choose to blend myself into the conversation and pretend I'm having the time of my life. "Tris, what are you picking?" Uriah asks me, all conversations fall silent and all attention averted to me.

All existing blood in my body migrates to my cheeks and until now, I'm still not so used to the attention."Uhm, I – uh, I'm not sure."

"What do you mean you're not sure?" Christina shakes my shoulders, "You'll practically be signing your life in that room in the next ten minutes, now in not the time to 'not be sure'."

I look down, and examine the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. "You're ranked first, so you can pick anything, you can even decide on the spot, wouldn't matter, take your time, love." Uriah says jokingly putting an arm around me, which I shrug off and make a face at him.

A dark haired woman with uncountable piercings walk in and we all settle down. She holds up her clipboard and says out loud, "Prior, Tris please come with me." I follow as directed.

The room is just like any other, it's dark and black, dauntless.

A single oak table stands firm in the middle, with a single piece of paper, a pen and beside it, a chair. "I'll be out the door, knock twice once you're ready, keep in mind, time is of the essence and the world will not wait, do what you need to do."

And like a gust of wind she's out the door, it's me and the paper.

The form looks like any legal form, asking for personal information. I fill in what was marked important. The next page is nothing I have come to imagine, there are no choices it is simply printed there in bold with all its glory, so blunt.

**_'JOB ENLISTMENT FOR [state name] RANKED [state rank] TAKING THE POSTION [state chosen occupation]'_**

I supply all necessary information on the paper but spend quite longer on the last one. I can choose _anything_, it dawns on me, I can _be_ anyone. But who would I want to be?

So I write down the one job I ever took into consideration in the first place, the one job that never slipped my mind, the consequences and contracts that will come with it will simply be something I'll have to deal with along the way, but this is the first time I can think of _myself_. But even as I do, I know that I'm not only doing this for me, but for so much more, I know I can give so much more to this home that has welcomed me with such open arms. I'll be someone, as a Dauntless, as a friend, as an acquaintance.

_As a Leader, a Dauntless leader._

* * *

Lunch was as boisterous as always, Tobias is nowhere to be seen, neither is Red. No one seems to notice, except for Zeke and I he eyes me and asks me through them '_where are they',_ I shrug and reply with my eyes '_I don't know'_. But just as I do so, Tobias comes through the doors with Red trailing not too far behind.

He sits down beside me, but Red continues to walk ahead to a few other Dauntless members I haven't come to recognize too well. "Where were you?" I ask, he kisses my cheek and grabs my hand in his. "Red said she won't –"

"I know what she said," he starts "We were in the training room discussing it." But as he says this, his eyes divert my gaze avoiding to look at me, as if there was something he was hiding behind those two buckets of deep blue water, but for now I leave it as it is.

The table erupts in laughter as Zeke spills a joke about how Uriah was when he was younger, but I'm too caught up with something else to notice. Red is staring, staring at _me_. I don't look back at her, but I know, I can _feel_ her stare, burning holes on me. But I can't help it, I look up, and once I do I half expect her to look away.

She doesn't.

She holds my gaze and tries to deliver something through it; she tilts her head to the side and stands up. _She wants me to follow her._

I stand up quickly in a rush before I lose sight of her; I stand up so quickly my knees hit the table by accident.

"Whoa, hold your horses there soldier." Uriah says.

"I've got to go, catch up to you guys later."

As I rush away, Tobias calls my name, but I'm too far away to respond, so I keep on going. She goes into a hallway and I follow her, as she turns and enters and turns again in multiple directions I've lost count, me must be somewhere in the heart of the compound, it must be so deep in the ground that the density in the air is making it harder to breathe after every breath, then all of a sudden she stops.

Still with her back facing me she says, "I know what you signed up for."

"What?"

With such ferocious force she shoves me to the wall in one fluid motion, I didn't know what was happening until it already happened. "Don't play stupid with me _Stiff._ You signed up for a Dauntless leader!" she screams at my face.

I push her off me, feeling angry for all of a sudden. Who does she think she is to get mad at me, for my own choices which do not concern her.

"How could you?" I can see, I can see that she's trying so hard to contain her anger, her hands are shaking on her sides, she's trembling, _fuming. _"It wasn't enough that you had to get _him!_ Now you're getting my job?"

She has me pushed against the wall again, now I understand, I understand why she brought me down here. So that if she would kill me, no one would know it was her, that is, if I don't kill her _first._ "I don't know what you're talking about; you still have your job."

"Not for long, _now that you have it._"

"What?"

"Don't be so surprised, you knew what it would do to me, and you still did it!" her grip is choking me now, my breath hitching the tighter it grips. "You have no right, absolutely no right to be here."

"And you do?!" I push her off me once more; she's power hungry just like Eric and everyone else. "_You lost all claim to Four the moment you left."_ I'm screaming now, anger filling every bone and fiber in my being, running like rain through my blood.

"_You think you have dibs to him, I was there before you came along." _she says near to me, and only now do I realize, she's _intoxicated._

"Then why the hell did you leave?"

"I had to!"

"You could've stayed."

"You _don't_ know me." Her stare is full of venom and anger, so deadly it can kill with one blow. Blind rage mixed with alcohol never ends well, but at this point it consumes both of us, "You don't know half of the things I had to do in this goddamn world keep _him,_ only to lose him to _you."_

"You said you wouldn't_ intervene_ with us."

She laughs, her perfect white straight teeth showing, her perfect face, prettier than it can ever be. "I _wasn't_, but you're taking _too_ much, I _will_ get him back."

And just like that, a scene comes playing in my mind like it came from an old movie. Seeing her with him, seeing him happy with her just like in my dream, something snaps inside of me, like my offensive switch was turned on.

"_He's not yours to take."_ I pull on her hair so hard and pin her against the wall where a moment ago, she had me pinned. I did not anticipate nor want to have a fight with her, I'm not looking for this, I don't want it, but I can't avoid it.

"He's not _yours_ either." She pulls at my hair just as hard as I've been pulling on hers.

I punch her gut and roundhouse kick her side, which she dodges with another offensive kick. She uses her free hand which is not holding my hair to punch my side; I double over in pain, a gooey, sticky liquid coming down from my mouth. Even if alcohol is in her system her aim is impeccable. I exert all strength and punch her straight to the temple; she dizzies and almost falls to her sides, but steadies herself.

She lunges at me and we both fall down to the floor, I hit my back really hard and hear a few bones crack. A searing pain taking over my body, but I get up just as fast as I fell and ignore the pain. I don't give a damn if she's a legend, if she's the strongest one here, I will not give into anything without fighting for it first.

Just as I lunged into my feet, so does she. "You won't win a fight with me; surely, you're smart enough to know that." We go back into pulling the hair out of each other, going around in circles, the smell of intoxication radiating through her, I half wonder if she has the slightest idea of what she's doing.

Once again, I'm pinned to the ground, this time not being able to stand up. She delivers several punches to my face and lower abdomen, I've started losing consciousness until suddenly, I don't feel her weight on top of me anymore. All I see now are dark blue orbs, enchanting and…

_Angry, very angry._

**A/N: AGAIN, I AM SO SORRY. There was this b*tch called Author's block that kept me from writing. I hope you haven't lost hope in me just yet! I've also been updating my other FFs [if you haven't checked them out, now is the time]. I PROMISE, i will try to update faster. Please review and tell me what you think.**

**TO ease my AUTHOR's BLOCK, please feel free to give as many suggestions as you wish, i'm open to all! PM them or review them, any! Thank you :)**

**99 reviews, i wonder who our 100th reviewer will be! :)**

**XOXO**

**-R**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi. HELLO. HEY. I'm back, and i'll try to be faster next time! I'll update this week so please watch out :) **

**THANK YOU TO: Tris Prior Tobias Eaton, Lel Christo [thank you so much! it means a lot! OMG, i am a huge fan of your stories; Untouchable and Unforgettable, The amnesia part! oh my god you're tearing my heart. HAHA!] TheOneandOnly007, fourtris17, UpdateNow, DauntlessShadowhunterTribute , CrazyAnnoying, Phsco13, PRYYD2012, mikaylabauer, ****frytjeeeh, heatherechelon, klaporte****, for either Reviewing, favoriting or following. :)**

**FOUR'S POV**

When you've built walls for your own security and they crumble faster than you can acknowledge their disappearance, and through it all you can feel every brick and every stone falling to the ground, that's how it feels like to be in this room, in this situation, with these two people on both my sides lying unconscious. I don't know who to pay attention to. I'm not sure if I want to know.

Tris is bruised up, badly. Whilst Allias simply remains unconscious, assessing the damage done to her, she received a few hard blows. But it's not seeing them all beaten up that shatters me, but the fact that they did this to _each other_. The only two people I care about hurting one another, how could anyone deal with that?

It's like a drug, an addiction, something I know can't be anything but bad but still I do it, I still _want_ it. I watch them both sleep, Tris on my left, Red on my right. I watch Tris and it's like seeing her first fight all over again. She's the bravest person I've ever met, stronger than who I can ever be.

Red.

Tris opened up my eyes; she showed me who I can be, someone I thought I lost, when all along it's been inside waiting to be released. She showed me how it's like to be loved, how it feels to be cared for, how it feels to know you trust someone.

Red.

Tris gave me an opportunity to change; she took my heart and cared for it. She mended my wounds and scars; she took me in and made me her family.

_Red._

Red was my first friend, she was the first one in my life to help me live, to give me a reason to live. She taught me how to love, how to laugh, how to be happy. She taught me how to be who I am today; she taught me everything Tris is trying to bring back.

Red was gone, she _was_ gone, and I swore to myself I will never love again.

But why, why am I still loving, why did I love _her_, Tris. I let her fill me with her kisses, those two soft things, the way her soft figure fits perfectly in mine. She tore my walls down and put up her new ones around us, and the scariest thing is; I let her do it. I accepted it, I accepted _her_.

But Red is back.

She's back with the same aching heart she had for me, and the feelings I folded and kept away and swore to never let out is eating its way into my chest, its tearing me apart, ripping me from the inside like an animal who's trying to get loose from a cage. How can you pick between two people you would rather die for? How can you decide when there are _no_ deciding factors?

It's heart-wrenching, watching them trying to settle the mess that _I've_ done.

So for the first time since I got to this godforsaken place, I run. I walk out their room, rush out the medical wing, and run. I run from this, I run from _them._ I run.

**TRIS' POV**

I'm awake, but my body doesn't respond. There's numbness all over me. Every inch I try to make causes extreme pain, and I wonder which is worse, suffering from pain or dying. While I try to reconcile what just happened, and gain control over my body parts once more, Red is already up. She's standing with her back facing me, leaning against the counter.

Even if she'd gone through a fight, and probably has a throbbing headache, even if her hair is messed up, even if some parts of her skin are bruised, she still looks stunning. It's inevitable for her to look beautiful and I can't look away.

I barely move an inch, and she spins around almost immediately and sees that I'm awake. We both freeze in place, unaware of what to say or do. I half-expect her to lunge at me like she did, but instead she sighs and goes back to her bed, which is right beside mine, a chair in between, I wonder if anyone sat there.

I sit upright to a more comfortable position, and look at her. _Actually_ stare at her, through those golden locks, and sky blue eyes, she's pained. And in this moment she does no effort in concealing them.

"I – I, I don't know what got into me." She looks up after inspecting her hands for the longest time. She looks beaten and worn down, tired and sleepless. Her pride all flushed down the toilet, honesty all that remains. "I'm sorry."

It's a barely audible whisper, but it was there, and I heard it.

I'm speechless, looking for spare words for me to say, but nothing comes out. All I can do I stare, all I can do is watch as this leader, this political figure, this legend, breaks down in front of me, and I have nothing to say.

"He, He destro –" she pauses and inhales, "He destroys me, he tears me up a million pieces and puts me back together just to do it all over again." She exhales.

I nod.

"When you lose that one thing you've been fighting for so long, it – "she says "It ruins you."

I want so badly to say 'I know, I understand' but I can't. My mouth is glued shut and my ears are torn open. She continues to speak, even if it's obvious that this will be a one-way conversation.

"Tris," she begins and stares directly at me, I unexpectedly see sincerity in her eyes, "I'm sorry you have to know me this way, I – I'm, I'm not a monster, I –" she breaks down, her crying is silent, nothing but a wheeze, but it's still crying, she regains control of herself, "I'm sorry."

Again, my senses betray me, and I'm left with an air-tight sealed, stupid excuse for a mouth. She sobs into her hands and runs a nervous hand through her hair, she lifts her knees up to her chest and rests her head on them, she looks so small, so young, so ethereal and unassuming.

A quiet knock goes almost unheard on the door, but Red's reflexes are much sharper than mine. "Come in." She wipes her face, not leaving a trace of weakness behind, composes herself and answers the door.

Tobias walks in much more broken than the two of us combined.

They both stare at each other and make a telepathic agreement that I can't decipher. Red walks out, leaving Tobias and I alone. A part of me wonders if she's barely strong enough to walk on her own, but I push it away as Tobias touches my cheek ever so slightly, like it pains him to see me like this.

He doesn't speak and neither do I, he's touching me like I'm made out of an abundance of feathers, that with a single breath, I can crumble and float away with the wind.

"How are you?" his eyes are not moving away from mine, it's trying to tell me something, something I can't understand.

"I'm alive." I joke.

But he doesn't take my joke; instead he takes down a more serious face, almost mournful, _almost_. "This is all my fault, Tris." He shakes his head in disbelief, and runs a hand through his hair making it stand up in different directions. "I – I, I'm sorry."

Something's off, everyone seems to be apologizing to me. "You don't have to apologize, Tobias."

"Yes I do," he shakes his head once more, forcing me to accept his expression of regret.

"You're not the one who pinned me to a wall, and beat me lifeless, _Four_. You have _nothing_ to be sorry for, nothing."

His body starts trembling and tears are spurting out his eyes, and even as he's breaking, there's still undeniable grace and strength in his weakness, he's beautiful.

He looks at the point of a wall somewhere behind me; he's looking at me, but not entirely, as if he's avoiding my gaze. "Listen to me, I love you, I promise, and I swear to this godforsaken world that I love _you_ and _you_ only." He runs a hand down his face stopping on his mouth, trying to prevent whatever threatens to spill out. "She's, she's. God Tris, I promise she's –"

I cut him off, I already knew. I've always known, the moment she walked in the Pit, how he stared at her. How he never stopped staring at her. I knew, and even if it's burning me slowly, I know he loves her. Whatever resolve I had when I thought he only loved me is gone. It evaporated and resided in me, he loves _her._

But even if I know, I still kiss him. His lips are softer than anything I've ever known, soft like a snowflake, liking biting into cotton, like melting and being weight-less and floating into water, it's so effortlessly sweet. And I can't help but wonder, how this boy, this sweet, loving boy, can have to go through so much in life, and still he's here, he survived and I'm here to witness him.

A beautiful tragedy

"I know," I whisper. "You don't have to stay with me, I promise it wouldn't hurt me, please, I just, you _need _to be happy." He stares at me, in disbelief not believing what I just said. I don't either; I don't believe what I just said. The words are back-firing; it's shooting me, like a million bullets penetrating my skin. Like I'm in front of a firing squad, my own words killing me with the weapons I built for myself.

I've been so careful when I came to Dauntless, and yet this boy with the magical blue eyes managed to break me open, and now, I have no walls, no barricades, I'm an open target, and I'm shooting myself.

I close my eyes, afraid, I am a coward and I don't dare deserve to belong here. I shut myself, afraid for the response he'll give. Then he leans in, leans in so close, so close, I can see his irises, two small black things in a sea of blue. His breathes tickle my ear, his nose grazes my chin and my heart skips a beat.

His eyes, dark blue, his hair, dark brown, his shirt too tight in all the right places, and his lips, his lips twitch up to flick the switch that lights up the fire in my heart and I don't even have time to exhale before I'm caught in his kiss.

I am completely, utterly, and unconceivable under the mercy of Tobias Eaton.

His lips, his hands, his breaths, his face, him, he is all that matters. His chest is heaving, and I don't care if I'm in the medical wing with a broken bones, he's all the medication I can ever hope for. "Who –"his breathing is heavy, his equanimity gone. "Who ever said anything about leaving?"

I tangle my hands through his hair, trying to remember the feel of every strand against my fingertips.

"I will never leave you, Tris. I'll be damned if I ever do."

Neither will I, Tobias.

**A/N: I love Tobias, if only he were real. Please review, follow, or favorite, anything to let me know that you guys are still reading and liking it... I'll try to update this week, probably on Friday. So watch out! Same goes for my other FFs. Love you all forever!**

**OH! and wish me luck, it's Exam [HELL] week.**

**XOXO**

**-R**


	14. I'm Soooooooo SORRY

**Hi guys,**

**Please don't kill me; I'm having an enormous writer's block, and I lost my inspiration. But I'll try. Thank you so much for keeping up with my moodiness, I'll try (my hardest) to think of something. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GIVE SUGGESTIONS.  
I love you all so much.**

**DIVERGENT MOVIE NEWS:  
Theo James as Tobias! TheoBIAS  
In my opinion, he looks too old to be Tobias, or maybe that's just me... Nonetheless, he's a good actor.  
But I really wish it was Max Irons, or someone else...**

***BUT I'M SO HAPPY THEY MADE MAGGIE Q, TORI. I love her!  
Other castings:  
Jai Courtney as Eric  
Ansel Elgort as Caleb  
Zoe Kravitz as Christina**

**What do you guys think of the casting?**

**XOXO**

**-R**


	15. Chapter 14

**I'm sorry beyond words... Please, please forgive me. My apology (the long one) is at the bottom. But may I (finally) present Chapter 14!**

**I hold no ownership for the Charcters, which all belongs to Ms. Roth.**

Tris' POV

I fall face-first to the ground for about the hundredth time today, either I'm extremely week or Red is just extremely strong. I choose the latter. She doesn't miss a heartbeat and pounces on me from behind straddling my waist and pinning me down, she turns me around so that now I face her, but she lands no punches, she simply stares at me.

"Come on, Tris," there's no venom, no sarcasm, pure worry, and something else... motivation maybe? "You can do way better than that."

_She's taking it easy on me_, this makes me sick, it's bad enough I can't beat her, more of which when she's holding back for _my_ benefit. She gets off me and helps me up, my body is sore from all the exertion, but no serious wounds or bruises, she never fights to kill, she fights to defend, unlike Peter, and speaking of which I haven't seen of in a long time.

"Four," Red coughs, trying to get his attention.

He's only a heartbeat late, but it's enough for the both of us to notice, Tobias is _never_ late. "Yes?"

"I think it's time for a break," Red looks at me pointedly, as if directing Tobias' stares to my bruises, "don't you think?"

He's been very... distant lately. During our fights, when I have a glance up at his face he's never watching, he looks elsewhere and his mind a million miles away. I don't think he even _wants_ to watch us, as if he's avoiding having it to be done. More so, he rarely gives any exchange of words nor tactics and anything at all. We come inside, he tells us to fight, and either Red or I decide whether it's lunch or not.

Unlike Initiation, where he pinpoints every wrong motion and assesses every breath, here, he's just—he's too lax. Almost, not caring, not serious, wanting it to be over with. Maybe that's what this is, a less-serious type of initiation, however, that doesn't seem to be the case with Red, she takes it up with solid determination.

"Tris?" Tobias asks, "what do you think?"

"Wha-what, uhm, yeah I'm hungry."

"Very well then."

All three of us wind around the twisting halls and holes in the caves making our way to the Pit, and nothing but utter awkwardness engulfing our conversations. Every now and then, we make efforts of easing the tension but fail miserably, making it worse.

A figure appears at the end of the hallway, as it looms nearer we can see that it's Eric, he brushes past me but _shoves_ Red, she didn't even flinch. "Stiff," he greets to me with an eerie voice, "Stiff," he greets Red, "and Stiff," he nods at Four, "funny how this compound is run by _Stiffs_."

I'm about to lunge at him, when a soft hand holds me back, it's not very visible that she did it, but I still felt it. We're all quiet, and then Red speaks "Yeah it is, I guess fate has a few tricks up its sleeves, huh?" which she accompanies with her big toothy smile that almost seems sincere, _almost._

Eric leaves grunting and mumbling a string of curses.

"He likes getting everyone's attention, if you don't pay him any then he'll leave you alone or at least for the time being." Red whispers as we walk away, I simply nod, not trusting myself to speak, exactly what did she mean by '_for the time being'_.

0*0*0*0*0

My burger is half-way from the table to my mouth when Uriah comes barreling into our table with Zeke behind him. They seem extra exuberant today; actual work started a few days ago, but most is still attending training, apparently for me and Red we'll never know when actually work starts, all we've been told is that we still need to prove ourselves worthy of the position, or at least that's what _I _was told, as for Red, it confuses me why she even _needs_ training when she'd gone through it for more than a year now.

"Uriah, it's your first day on the job, you—you can't!" Zeke says in between laughs.

"Any one of you hooligans want to tell us what it is exactly that you've got burning there?" Christina pipes in, sitting beside me as she sets down her tray, "We ain't laughing with you, unless we know what we're laughing to."

"Well Ms. Sassy pants," Uriah dictates sticking his tongue out to Christina, _real mature Uriah_. "Are you doing anything today?"

Christina stops mid-eating and strokes her invisible mustache, "Hmmm, no."

Everyone in the table has stopped eating too, awaiting Uriah, he looks to Zeke who simply shrugs and shoves in more beans into his already full mouth. "Well—"

But before Uriah can finish Christina puts her hand in front of his mouth, "No Uriah."

"What?"

"No."

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry, but you're not my type, plus, I'm taken."

Zeke nearly chokes on his beans caught in a laugh he tries miserably to stop, but comes surging out. Uriah looks so red it seems like he's created a new color. Red chuckles beside him and Shauna simply rolls her eyes at Zeke.

"Christina, for the love of all that's good in this world, you are not my type either!" He chokes out, "and I wasn't asking you out."

"Oh."

"Yeah, anyways, So!" Uriah says giddily as if his change of mood will make the previous encounter subside, "Zeke and I found the secret stash of paintball guns that Max hid."

A series of multiple groans and sighs escape from almost everyone in the table;

"Not again."

"Oh God will you ever stop."

"We'll get in trouble."

"What?" I ask confusedly around at everyone. "Why?"

"Max hides the paintball guns in a different place every year," Red answers not looking away from the food she eagerly eats.

"Yeah," Shauna continues with a mouthful of burger as well, she swallows and continues, "and these two immature kids find them every year." She points her fork at Zeke and Uriah.

"Then they get us in trouble for playing with them," Marlene chimes in.

"That's only because you guys actually _agree_ to play!" Zeke says in defense raising his hands up in mock defeat.

"Yeah, as if you _gave_ us another choice," Red raises one eyebrow at him.

"You still could've said no." Uriah replies, "but that wouldn't be dauntless," he says almost smugly.

With that everyone else shuts up in defeat, a smirk plays across the edges of Zeke's mouth. "So, you guys up to it?" There's a challenge to his tone, and I'm a hundred and one percent sure that everyone will take that challenge. "I'll take that as a yes!" He fist-pumps with Uriah, "How about you Tris? You comin' too?"

Zeke and I aren't exactly the two closest friends in dauntless, the sole reason I even know him is because he just so happen to be Tobias' best friend but aside from that we rarely even speak, so this _direct_ invitation catches me off guard, we barely speak what more of actually _hanging out._

"I don't know…" My voice trails once I regain it once more, "We still have training," I look at Tobias expectantly and so does everybody else.

"It could count as training," he shrugs, "'sides, Max said nothing about Paintball being illegal, what do you think?" He asks Red, I'm a tad jealous, mostly because _I'm _playing too, but he didn't ask _me_, what _I _thought.

"Anything to get outta this place, if Paintball does that, then Paintball it is!"

Oh giddy, I'll spend the day being kicked in the ass by Red, _in front of all my friends,_ definitely worth it, not.

0*0*0*0*0

Four and Zeke were elected leaders, _as expected._ The gun slung around me weighs even more than the one I used during initiation, at this point, I'm trying not to tumble off the moving train, holding tightly to the cargo boxes inside, how Zeke and Uriah could've possibly snuck all of us out is beyond me. Zeke continues to scratch the side of his face looking at all of us, He'll be the first one to pick a teammate and at this rate we'll take one whole revolution around the sun for him to pick.

"Just pick already," Lynn screams her voice being carried around by the wind entering the train.

"Patience, do you guys know how _seldom_ I actually get to pick _before_ Four, I mean, that _never_ happens."

"Whatever, just pick."

After giving one last scratch, Zeke sighs and takes a look around the group once more after settling his eyes on me, my heart skips a beat, _shut up heart what's wrong with you? _"I pick Tris."

_What? Did I hear that right?_

_Yes you did idiot._

_He picked me?_

_No, Ms. obvious, he did not._

_Leave me alone. _

_I can't, I'm in your head._

My inner war is interrupted by Zeke coming to me and giving me a blue bandana, I am now part of the blue team, everyone stares, they look between Zeke and me, some confused, some angry, and some… _jealous?_ I can feel Shauna's glare punching me from behind, and Will's inquiring glance sending shrills down my spine. "_What?"_ Zeke asks when the silence extends for too long, "She made Four's team win the last time, and _hell_, I love seeing Four all pissed up! I mean look at him," and true to his words, Tobias' face is contorted in unflattering angles, definitely pissed, "Your turn buddy."

Four snorts, "Red."

It's like a slap to my face; you'd think he'd pick Shauna to at least get back at Zeke.

"Very well then, Shauna."

"Uriah."

"Will."

"Christina."

"Lynn."

"Marlene."

"That's it!" Zeke says happily rubbing at his hands evilly, "hope you're ready to lose."

Tobias grunts and goes by the door, "Since you picked first, we'll be going down first," with that all of his members gather around him and jump.

Now only Shauna, Will, Lynn, Zeke, and I are left behind, "Now what?" Lynn asks leaning against the frame of the train car, picking at her fingernails, "What do we do, _captain?_" She eyes Zeke as if saying, _'you're supposed to do something'. _

"Did you pass initiation at all, Lynn?" he snorts, "We plan," he adds a mental '_duh'_ to his tone.

By planning it means Shauna disagreeing with Lynn at every possible moment, and Will smart-talking strategies that irritates Zeke ten-fold. I wonder how Tobias is doing, is he taking the lead or is he letting the group do it like last time. Maybe Red did, she'd be a good leader.

_No, she will not. _My inner selfish conscience says.

_How do you know?_

_Have you seen her hair? Oh God, she needs conditioning ASAP._

_What does being a leader have anything to do with hair?_

_If she can't take care of her own hair, then how will she do with a whole faction?_

"Tris?" Shauna shakes me, "Tris, hello, are you in there?"

"Uh – Yeah, I'm sorry what did you say?"

"I said what do you think we should do?" she crosses her arms in front of her and looks at me, and so does everyone else. "You haven't spoken the whole ride."

_Ride._ We're still on the train, "I think it's time to get off."

"Shit." Zeke curses under breath as he hurries to the end of the train, "We missed our stop, but if we run then we'll make it in time, well? Are you guys coming or what?" We all hurry to where Zeke is and jump.

0*0*0*0*0

The argument on the train continues once we're on ground, everyone decided that we should hide the flag in the carousel since they wouldn't think of going back to the place where we hid it the last time, I'd have to give credit to Zeke for that one, but that might have been the only good thing he's done as a leader, so far we've wasted time with arguments and no progress, we don't even know where they are and they're bound to pounce on us any moment now.

"I'm telling you, we should _all_ stay, and fight." Lynn declares.

"For the millionth time, Lynn, that's suicide." Shauna retorts back, Lynn throws her hands in the air and grunts in defeat retreating back to the carousel and stubbornly takes a seat on one of the worn-down horses.

"I'm taking a nap; wake me up when we lose."

No one pays any attention to her resignation, too busy with their own.

"Guys," I say trying to get their attention, if we keep this up we'll lose for sure, "Guys!" I scream louder, and then pure silence, but it's not my screaming that gets their attention, a big green splat appears on Zeke's side.

Instinctively, everyone crouches on the ground, looking around frantically searching for the culprit to Zeke's defeat. "Shit," he mutters, "shit shit shit shit, I'm out."

There's crushing of leaves somewhere to my right and from my crouched position I move farther into the carousel, having myself covered by the prosthetic tail of my horse. "Psst, Will." I call out to Will who has a clear shot to the enemy in the shadows. "Will!"

"Yeah?" It's as quiet as a wind may be in a sunny day, but I hear it.

"Look to your right, by the bushes, do you see that?"

He looks up and goes back down as fast when a paintball comes at him, which misses by a hair. "Yeah I see it."

"Okay this is what you do," I whisper moving around my horse so now the body covers me, "I'll get up and run, while I distract it, you shoot, got it?"

"Got it."

With one last glance, I just hope that this vigilante came alone, if not, then we're _dead._ I get up as I told Will and I sprint across the carousel, shots being fired behind me so close that I can feel the air pass through, then it's silent. "Shit! Will!" A voice says as it emerges from its hiding place.

Uriah.

"You're so damn dead later." He walks over with his green bandana hanging loosely around his wrist.

"No, _you're_ so damn dead later," Zeke counters, running to him as they break into a brawl on the grass. "I can't believe you shot me! Uriah!"

I take a look at the surrounding bushes, no movement, so it seems Uriah was alone.

"Well, Zeke is out," Shauna emerges from one of the other bushes, "Not that big of a loss, he wasn't that helpful anyways." Zeke pouts at Shauna who's underneath Uriah's enormous build, unable to move.

"Zeke," I call but he's too busy rolling over with Uriah, "Shauna, can you get their attention please?" She smiles and nods.

"Get up you two faggots!" She shouts loud enough for them to hear but not any other members of the green team, "Tris, whom I've elected as our next leader, is trying to say something."

They both stand up and rub off remaining grass blades of their army pants and wait for me to continue, Will and Lynn gather around too, "First off, I am _not_ your leader, Zeke still holds that position," He shoots Shauna a look that says '_hah_' "Second, if we do stay here then we'll all get caught," Shauna raises both eyebrows at Lynn, "_but_, if we all leave then our flag will be unprotected," Lynn mocks Shauna's expression with one of her own.

"So what do you suggest?" Will inquires; he seems like the only one who treats this seriously.

"I _suggest_ that we get a scout."

"A _scout_?" Zeke asks, "What scout?"

"Someone who'll look for the other base and flag, while the rest stays here to guard our own," a series of nods tells me that they agree.

"I'll go," Shauna steps forward.

"Uh, No, honey, _I'll_ go." Lynn steps in front of Shauna.

"Go back to sleep, Lynn, you'll just jeopardize the mission," Shauna rolls her eyes. "I think _Tris_ should go, it was _her_ idea."

"Oh puh-lease, I'm better hidden than this chick, no offense stiff." I flinch at the nickname; no one calls me that anymore, "Uh, sorry, old habits die hard." She quickly adds.

"No, I'll go. Lynn they'll need the extra muscle here, you'll need to watch over Uriah, and be ready to attack if the rest ever comes for an ambush," I can almost see the gears turning in her head as she thinks about this realization and faintly nods agreement, "When I find them, I'll come back to get Will as my back-up."

"See! I told you it was a good choice getting her." Zeke chimes in.

"And it was a terrible one picking you as a leader, you suck." Shauna spits, I think she's still angry that Zeke picked me before her, "Sun's setting, it'll be dark soon, Tris should get going, anyone who has anything to say about that, shut up and suck it up."

I grab an extra pack of bullets and head out.

0*0*0*0*0

The sun is setting faster than I've expected, soon we'll be engulfed in darkness and I still haven't found anything. It's starting to get colder and I instantly regret not putting on warmer garments. My feet are aching from hiking for so long; whoever hid the flag for the green team did a good job of doing so. I stay hidden by the side of the rubble path, not too hidden but not too obvious as well, for once since coming to Dauntless, being short actually held its advantages.

A set of footsteps come from ahead and I reflexively go inner into the woods and away from the rubble path. There are _two_ sets of footsteps accompanied with voices, Marlene and Christina.

I hide behind the thickest bush I can find and crouch as low as my legs can go, their voices grow louder as the footsteps become more prominent, once they're within earshot, I jump from my hiding spot and shoot directly at them, they're frozen in surprise and that's all the advantage I needed to be able to shoot them both.

"Holy –" Marlene looks down at her shirt which is now covered in blue paint splatters.

"Tris!" Christina screams, "You ruined my shirt!" she laughs.

"Thank God you found us," Marlene says "We've been parading around here waiting to be caught, you have no idea how _hungry_ and _tired_ we are."

"Follow this path go straight ahead from where we're from, the biggest tree with two prominent branches crossing into a cross, turn right there, and fourth tree from that is where our flag is," Christina adds with no hesitation whatsoever, "please hurry."

"How do I know you're not leading me into a trap?" I raise my eyebrows at her, but it's a half-hearted attempt, I trust Christina, she wouldn't do such, but mostly because of the look on her face, that clearly portrays '_are-you-saying-i-like-being-out-here-like-this-Oh- my-god-i-want-this-over-with-before-dinner-starts' _

She exhales, and opens her mouth to something I suspect is an extremely long speech about how frizzy her hair will become if it's exposed to even more heat than it already is.

"Okay, never mind, Thanks Christina!" I clap her at the back and take off on the route she said.

"Oh and Tris, Four is guarding, you might want to sneak up." Marlene calls behind.

True to her word, Christina was right, I reached the tree with branches forming a cross, on the fourth tree, there, the bright green flag hangs proudly and Four sitting comfortably with his back to me, his left arm hanging loosely on top of his left leg, the gun on the forest floor a good half a foot away from him.

I go into the bush up to his side where I have a clear shot. I point and aim, breathe in, and shoot.

Nothing.

I shoot again and nothing.

I look at my gun, checking the ammo, which happens to be empty; I mentally slap myself for being so stupid. I look inside the box I got from camp and there only happens to be one paintball, _one._

_It's better than none. _My inner self, retorts.

_When will you ever leave me?_

_When you die, I die so as long as you're alive, then so am I._

I groan internally, the last thing I need is a nagging me, I remove the paintball from the box, but before I can put it inside my gun it slips to the ground and rolls away making as much noise as an intruder, _shit._

"Who's there?" Tobias asks, I can hear him getting up, _oh great._

I lie instantly flat on the ground and pray that my heartbeat cannot be heard, because the way it's thumping I'm pretty sure it can be heard all the way to where our base is. I can hear shuffling behind where Tobias is, and him sitting down, I give a sigh of relief and as quietly as I can move towards the paintball that has gone behind a tree.

I crawl to it keeping my head as low as my crouch will allow, it's twilight, that time of day where it's after afternoon and before nighttime, the sky painted a beautiful pinkish-purple glow, _focus Tris._ I hide behind another tree before I reach over and get the bullet, this time I take a good hold of it and successfully place it inside the gun, I aim at Tobias, luckily from where I am he can't see me.

Then I hear a noise behind me, incredibly _close_ to me.

I disregard it, it must be Red, she's the only one left aside from Tobias, and once I shoot him I'm a good few feet away from the flag.

Then it growls.

I snap my head around, and there right in front of my face is a wild dog. Its sharp teeth shining brightly with saliva, it's eyes alive with the presence of danger. It comes nearer and I can see the wiry fur all rumpled up from living in the wilds for so long, the bones prominent on its sides, it's obviously hungry, and I'm its next meal.

With my gun hoist against the dog, I carefully stand up against the tree, it comes closer, its muscles showing that it'll pounce at any given moment, the farther I go away from it, the closer it comes.

I can't run because it'll catch up, I bite won't kill me, but infections might.

So, in a painfully slow motion I go back and back, hoping to get to Tobias before this dog decides to attack, but the moment I step my foot behind it gets caught on a root of one of the trees I fall on the leaves making a loud thumping and crackling noise, the sudden motion makes the dog more alert and runs to me then pounces, as if on a postponed motion I can see that it's paws with sharp nails are headed straight for me its glistening teeth ready to bite.

I scream.

Then it falls to my right motionless, an arrow protruding its skin standing up right, blood spilling around it.

I've never seen an arrow my whole life, I've heard of it in school, but never actually _seen_ it in person, then a figure emerges from the trees, it's too dark to see the face but bright enough for me to know that it's coming, it holds the bow with the right hand and offers its left to me.

I take it right away, and it helps me up, once I'm up I see that it's a 'him'.

"Are you okay?" His voice is as sweet as honey dew, with a welcoming tone as if you can listen to it every night and fall asleep with its embrace, I realize that I'm still holding his hand, it's calloused but soft like you'd imagine the clouds would be.

His eyes are as light as sky almost on the verge of grey, he's covered in dirt, leaves all around his hair, dirt staining his shirt, but he's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.

"Who – who are you?" I stutter, he lets go of my hand and I wish that he hadn't it feels empty without his.

"Tris?" someone asks behind, I've heard this voice before but I can't put a name to it. "Get away from her!" the voice declares, I've definitely heard it before, Tobias.

The figure looks to Tobias who by the sound of it is behind me and then runs off the way he came from, strong hands turns me around and I see those familiar deep blue orbs, warm and loving. "What happened? Are you okay?" he asks.

"I – I'm fine," I'm trembling, Tobias gathers me in his arms, safe and welcoming.

He kisses the top of my head, "Who was that?"

"I don't know,"

But he saved my life.

**A/N: I've been trapped by this little b*tch called Writer's Block and it was absloutely terrible, also I've been reading a few books to help with inspiration. But ultimately, there is no one and nothing that can hold the blame but myself, so I'm sorry. **

**But rest assured! I've overcome my WB, and now have a fantabulous plot line for this! **

**I thank you dearly to those who've given support and suggestions, they may not have been shown in this chapter but they will be in chapters to come, so keep an eye out!**

**I can't thank you all personally like I've done in previous chapters, but know that every Review, Follow, and favorite have pushed me to go this far, and my gratitude cannot be shown in such inaccurate words, because really I can't express how much it meant to me.**

**Please feel free to tell me ANYTHING, PM or Review, I'll be open-minded, whether it's criticism (please don't be mean) or you just need someone to talk to. **

**Again, I cannot thank you enough.**

**XOXOXOXO**

**-R**

**P.S. who do you think the mysterious man is?**


	16. Chapter 16

**I WAS READING THE INFERNAL DEVICES WHICH IS WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG! (That series is amazing)**

**Thank you to: LiveWithoutLimits (HI! thats my instagram name!), elisabeth12, Tris Prior Tobias Eaton, Egghh, Guest, TheOneandOnly007, QueenElizabeth3andCourtJester, Whew, I love this, Number One Fan, Anonymous, anonymous, Divergent Obcess, Guest, Guest, Guest, Guest, Awesmazing, KiwiPerson, You kissed me, divergentlover21, FivepointstoGryffindor,baileyboo1207, Fafilicious loves DanRad, Slightly Afraid, ShatterMyHeart710, ziawisegirl, TTavaresX, Livemore12 for either reviewing, favoriting, or following.**

**TO THIS ONE GUEST (who was getting mad at me for not updating too soon): I'm SORRY! like, really really sorry, i was reading and i simply could not put the book down, i hope you understand.**

**Re: the mysterious man, NO, he is not Gale... THOUGH I WANT HIM TO BE :3 but that just can't be because this is not a CROSS-OVER, HAHA!**

**I own nothing, but my dear Instagram account [ live_without_limits_] which you should follow by the way! ;)**

Tris' POV

Tobias and I decided not to tell anyone about the encounter with the dog nor the mysterious man, why keep it a secret? There's nothing to tell, so we keep our mouths shut. When we get back to our rendezvous point, which coincidentally is the Ferris wheel, really of all places? Everyone was soaked in green paint, except for Marlene and Christina who only have a few blue splatters from me. The sun has dipped down the horizon and nightfall looms.

I'm dragging my feet rather than actually walking in them, and my eyelids are as heavy as lead. His voice is still stuck in my head, its sweet melody engulfing me in its warm arms. His light blue eyes – almost grey – guiding me.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Tobias asks, setting down his gun on the damp muddy ground.

Shauna and Will groan, Lynn just shrugs and Zeke looks like his dignity was stripped off of him. They had at least seven splatters of green, on three different body parts. "They were attacked by a one woman army." Uriah informs us.

"Red?" Tobias asks, grasping the situation far faster than I am.

They all nod solemnly, admitting defeat. "It was like silence, then _boom, boom, splat, boom!_" Uriah demonstrates with exaggerated movements of his arms, "She got the flag before everyone could even stand up! It was amazing, Four!" He sounded like a little Dauntless kid who was told it was legal to keep knives with them.

I feel like disappearing into one of the trees and never coming out, it was clearly between Red and I, since we were the only ones left to actually get the flags, and she was able to do it, in an extraordinary fashion, while I fell down and had a dog attack me.

"Looks like we have a tie then," Tobias says, almost… smugly.

"What?!" Zeke and Uriah say in simultaneous times, Zeke with oozing happiness and Uriah with growing frustration, this clearly meant more to them than it did to us.

Tobias lifts up the green flag with blue blots on it, which I swear was not there before. "Tris got our flag too."

That is clearly not the true.

Zeke shouts in joy and does his victory dance, while Red walks forward to grab the flag from Tobias, clearly not happy that her victory was short-lived. "I was able to achieve the flag first, and disarm everyone else."

"But it's not about _you_, Red." Four says, "It's the _team_ achievement that matters."

"That has nothing to do about Tris' victory; she was, in other words, a one-woman army as well."

Four grunts in frustration and drags a hand through his hair, I don't understand why he wants me to come out as the reigning victor so badly, "Yes, but she captured the flag too, and disabled the rest of our team, with those achievements in mind, you don't really have a stand now do you?"

"Why are you insisting that we lose? We are in the _same_ team, _Four._" Red takes a step closer to him, and I can't help but hold my breath, they are far too close that one move and they… they could… I'd rather not think about it.

To my surprise and rather happiness, Tobias takes a step away from her. I just want to launch between them and claw my hands around her neck.

"I'm not insisting that we _lost_, I'm merely implying that they _win, both_ teams win, since both flags were captured and an equal number of members were disarmed." He emphasizes the blue blot on his upper thigh, _which was not there three minutes ago!_ I feel inquisitive and triumphant about his need to make our team have justice even if we don't deserve it.

They have a stare-down that could've lasted longer than it actually did if it weren't for the far blare of the train horn out in the distance. "We have to get going." Tobias says, slinging his gun around his arm and directs for us to follow him, which we do, but Red falls behind the crowd with me.

She grabs my arm rather harshly, and whispers in my ear, "I _know_ you didn't get that flag." She lets go of my arm, more like _throws_ it away, as if it couldn't disgust her even more, then stomps away ahead.

0*0*0*0*0

No one notices our absence when we get back to the compound. Well for Tobias, Red and I, there wouldn't be much facilitators watching us, that's Tobias' job, and he was with us the whole time, so really, no one can tell on us, nor would any other individual who'd catch us, they'd simply turn the other way.

The group disperses once we get there; even Red disappears; that includes both Tobias and Red, something about Max needing them, but I question it, I'm a leader too, and if they're both needed, why am I not?

Everyone disappears, almost. Except for Zeke and I, the awkward blanket that befalls us is thicker than what I can breathe through. I half expect him to get on going, the all-so-infamous Zeke must have other things to do, and pranks to make, but instead he's here with me.

"So," he starts, "I'd like to thank you." He inhales sharply and rocks back and forth on his heels, as if saying this hurts him.

"For what?"

"For helping us, earlier in capture the flag."

"I was in your team," I don't understand why this was such a surprise to him, "I was almost obliged to help."

He looks at me quizzically and then shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear, "You are one strange person, Tris."

His laughter quiets down to chuckles, then coughs, into breathing, until no sound remains. Why is he still following me? I would really like to go back to my Apartment now, but I couldn't simply just leave him, that would be rude, and so help me God, not until this day have all my abnegation mannerisms been truly removed from my system. So I feel an internal need to keep him happy, rather than myself.

When we round a corner, I accidentally bump into someone, or rather someone bumped into me. Once I look up, it's that same face that I had once feared when coming into Dauntless, the first face I saw when I jumped off the train, and the first leader I ever knew. Max.

But there's something different about him, something I can't put my finger to, but there's certainly a difference there.

It's like I'm seeing him, and I'm seeing someone else altogether.

"Ah Tris," he holds me at arms length, lets go then takes a step back. "Just the person I was looking for."

"Excuse me?" Just then Zeke comes behind me, then plants himself firmly to my side, like the ragged dog I saw in the woods earlier, ready to attack on command.

"I just finished speaking with Four and Red," he inserts his hands inside his pockets and slouches a little, "it has come to my attention that you haven't been performing very well during training."

I don't understand, this must show in my face because he explains furthermore.

"I've been watching footage," he shrugs like it's no big deal, "you see Tris," he puts his hand on my shoulder and leads me down the hall away from Zeke, but he follows pursuit. "Would you mind? I would like a word with her." Max growls at Zeke, agitated.

"Yes I do mind," Zeke crosses his arms, and shoots bullets through his eyes at Max. Why has he suddenly been so protective of me?

"Zeke, it's okay, really." I add a reassuring smile, Max takes our silence as a cue to lead me down the hall.

"Tris," he begins, once we're out of earshot, "Leadership training is very much different to initiation and alike in many ways."

I nod.

"You're performance," he cocks his head to the side, waiting for a reaction from me, none comes so he merely continues his chastising or explanation, whichever sounds more reassuring to me, "is very decrepit, in initiation you are given ranks and in which if you do not pursue top ten, you will be exiled. In training as a leader, you do not have ranks, you have skill levels."

A gut feeling inside my stomach makes me want to puke at what I'm about to hear.

"If you are not to meet our standards, there will not be a second chance."

"What are you saying?" I ask, afraid to speak louder than a frail whisper.

"What I'm saying Tris," he starts "is that your only competition is yourself, if you don't win, then you will have to be given a job of a much lower rank" he says then looks away.

"I do not understand," I choke. "Why change my ranks?"

"You will be sent off to guard the Amity fence if your performance will not improve," he completely disregards my previous question.

"Then why the hell is Red still here?!" All the anger and frustration that's been building up inside me has been let loose like floodgates opening, "She practically flunked the initial 'life' landscape? Why is she given a second goddamn chance?" I'm sick and tired of Red always having the special attention, when really she was of nothing but good will, not a protégé, not a legend, nothing. Even if she was, it was still absurdly unjust that she receives such attention and care, that other members do not, leader or not.

"She is far too valuable." He shrugs, as if this is something I should've known.

"That's bullshit." I turn away, not being able to stand a single more moment with that heartless man and this heartless place.

By the time I turn the corridor I sprint, hearing just a few more words from Max "This—warning—take—seriously," but before I could reach yet another hall I stumble upon something soft, and hard altogether.

"Woah there," Zeke says. I don't want to deal with him right now, especially not him. Everything is already far too confusing the way it is, I don't want to deal with this much less than I do with the others. "Are you alright?"

"Let me go," I shove him away rather harshly than what was friendly, "and stop following me." He does so as asked, his features change, something comes up, pain, but before seeing it all too clearly it disappears. I continue to run.

0*0*0*0*0

I turn the corner and hear voices reverberate against the stone walls; I plant myself against the east side away from view, my back flat against the wall. The voices come nearer and nearer, I try pursuit of hiding myself farther against the wall, but darkness can only conceal so much, finally when they are about just two steps away from finding me, the footsteps stop, and so does my heartbeat. They're so close I can almost tell who from whom.

"Shhh," a distinct female voice says, "keep it down, someone will hear you."

My heart stops, it's Red.

"Red," a low raspy voice says, cracked and strained says, "get to the point."

"Very well," she says exasperated, "the Abnegation girl, Tris, she's lagging, weak, fragile, she needs to be disposed off, she'll only be a threat to the plan."

"Then we send her to Amity," this voice was far too low, and I knew this voice from miles away before even turning a glance, Max. "As planned."

"No," a low octave counters, it has a distinctive timbre to it. I can't put my finger to it but that voice is familiar, it crawls underneath my skin and creeps above my bones, I really know that voice. "She's Divergent."

A gasp escapes my mouth before I could've stopped it, the conversation abruptly ends.

The voice, it's Tobias.

There is a collection of events that occur afterwards, all three of them, Tobias, Red and Max turn to my hiding place and haul me out, Four and Max grabbing me by both arms and pulling me alongside both of them. "You bastard," I spit at Tobias, "you lying, scheming son of a bitch!"

He slaps me across the face, and blood comes splurging out my nose, "that shuts you up." The slap did not hurt as much as the betrayal I feel knowing that the action came from Tobias, those blue eyes I used to confide comfort in, are now filled with rage, anger and secrets. The one I had longed to have in my arms, the one I had entrusted everything to, it hurt much more knowing all those was a lie rather than dying in agony.

"Was that really necessary?" Red asks, "He needs her alive."

"Who?" I ask half unconscious as they drag me my feet grinding against the stone floor, "Where are you taking me?" I don't struggle, there's no use, I can never win against Max and Tobias combined, what more if you add Red into the mix.

A hooded figure appears before me; my three captors stop and drop me to the floor. They give a nod of curtsy and disappear around the corner. The figure removes his hood and this face, it was _the _face, the face I saw in the woods, with the blue-almost grey eyes and, and in his hands were a bow and arrow. He put the bow in front and pulled the string holding the arrow.

"Good Bye, Beatrice," was all I heard before the arrow hit my chest.

I wake up, with my chest heaving and my lungs struggling for air, I can still feel the blood on my chest where the arrow hit me. _It was just a dream_, I try and tell myself, _nothing more_. My hair is plastered to my forehead, where sweat meets skin. I try to calm myself down, it was just a dream, just a dream, and Tobias would never betray you. It was just a dream.

The room suddenly feels warmer than what is usual, and my throat feels strained from the shouting, perhaps I was shouting in my sleep as well. I grab a glass of cold water from the stationary fridge that we are given in every apartment.

_'Good bye, Beatrice_' the voice still rang in my head, swarming me, and drowning me in this madness.

My bed suddenly feels empty; I've been so used to having Tobias beside me that it feels impossible to fall asleep without him. After one last attempt at trying to fall asleep, I decide hastily that I'll go to his room instead, maybe, there I can sleep much better.

I creep quietly into his apartment, using the spare key he gave me. Tobias was a heavy sleeper, once he was out, there was no waking him up, at least that's when _I _try, but something tells me, he simply likes to annoy me that way. When I go into his room, he's sprawled across the bed, but he's not asleep, just lying there with his eyes open.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asks without looking at me, still staring contently at the ceiling.

"Yeah."

"Me either," he finally faces me, and his face is filled with dread, something's troubling him, and he seems to be putting up walls again, against me. "Come here," he scoots to the side of the bed so that I have space to lie down next to him, a terrifying image comes to mind, and I instantly remember my fear landscape I haven't thought about it in a while now, my hopes of it being gone are scarce, but I still refuse to tell Tobias about it, for many reasons.

I do as he says; I cover us with the duvet and place my head to the crook of his neck, his breath tickling my forehead.

"I suppose," he draws a straight line down my bare arm with the tip of his finger, leaving a trail of blazing fire at its wake, "that you wouldn't want to tell me about this nightmare you had."

I never told him I had a nightmare, but I suppose he just knows me far too well. I shake my head 'no', I'm not entirely in the mood to be remembering the way it felt to be betrayed my him. It's far too, painful, of sorts.

He kisses my forehead and pulls me tighter to him, cradling my head in his chest. "Sleep," he says, "We have tomorrow to go through."

I nod, and cuddle closer, focusing to the rhythm of his heartbeat and the constant rise and fall of his chest, soon enough I fall asleep.

0*0*0*0*0

"What's with everyone?" I ask Tobias, as we walk into the Pit, the next morning for breakfast.

"I know as much as you do."

With one sweep of an eye around the platform, you could tell the origin of this boisterous state, there on the far end of the Pit, where most of the dauntless members are gathered, is a group of Erudite, their blue and white standard uniform making them stand out like specs of white in a black background.

"What are they doing here?"

Tobias looks far off in the distant trying to piece together his thoughts, I could almost see the gears turning in his head, and then it clicks. "I vaguely recall Max announcing that they'd be here for an 'observation'."

Ah of course, this announcement was made along with Red's miraculous survival. "But isn't the Candor supposed to be here with them?"

Tobias shrugs, "must be touring the compound."

They are so procedural, every movement with a purpose, every person with a role and there with them, the unmistakable bob of dark hair, and those bright vivid curious green eyes, is Caleb.

It's Caleb.

He's here.

My breath catches in my throat and for a moment I forget what it's like to breathe. Tobias falls behind with me, and links my hand with his, "Everything okay?"

"My –" I can't bring the words out, they're there stuck in my wind pipe, I swallow and force them out anyway, "My brother, Caleb, he's here."

**A/N: So, Caleb is here to join! and Zeke is acting very strange, and there's something different about how Tris sees Max... OOOOOOOOOHHH what could this mean?**

**The title for the third book is out "Allegiant" which more or less means loyalty! wohhooooo! i pledge my ALLEGIANCE to the Divergent Fandom! HAHA!**

**A lot of casting news came out! I'm sure you've all heard of it by now, but there's one that some just can't get over -Theo James, and let me tell you... I used to DETEST the idea of him being Tobias, BUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT... i've been watching ****Golden Boy**** in CBS lately, and LET ME TELL YOU, he can ACT, but not only that... but he is SMOKING HOT. Second, if you're having doubts about how he'll do with weapons, why don't ya'll watch ****Underworld: Awakening****, where Theo plays a character named David and handles super BAD ASS guns... it'll ease your doubts!**

**HOTNESS DEPARTMENT: YES YES YES YES YES YES **

**ACTING DEPARTMENT: TOTALLY WORTH THE ROLE**

**BAD ASS DEPARTMENT: HE IS FOUR ALRIGHT, HE WILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE**

**OHHH! one more thing, HE CAN SING! which i'm sure, if you'd been stalking him like i have, then you know this. HE HAS A BAND NAMED SHERE KHAN, they're in YouTube, go check him out! I've actually known for a long time, i just forgot to tell you guys last time. **

**Bottomline:**** I'm not saying that you're obliged to LOVE Theo James as Four/Tobias, but at least may we RESPECT him enough not to HATE him. i mean, we haven't even seen the Divergent movie yet, so who are we to judge right? Let's just give him a shot at it, and give him a warm welcome into the fandom, because there really is no such thing as a PERFECT FOUR, only Tobias can be that, and unless he jumps out of the book miraculously, then we'll have to settle for the more-real-life versions of him. **

**Please let me know about your thoughts in the reviews! I always love hearing them, you can RANT or RAVE (or even fangirl about his hotness with me). ALSO ABOUT the story please! any suggestions and/or comments would go a long way!**

**IF YOU'VE READ THE INFERNAL DEVICES, PLEASE REVIEW SO I CAN FANGIRL WITH YOU. **

**XOXO**

**-R**

**P.S. FOLLOW MY INSTAGRAM (it's Divergent stuffies!) - live_without_limits_**

**P.P.S. THE COVER REVEAL WILL COME OUT NEXT WEEK FOR THE THIRD BOOK! (Allegiant) the tagline is "One Choice Will Define You"**

**P.P.P.S. please do review, i get sad when you don't.**


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